Page 173 of Intense
“She’s your wife. Why not just ask the questions? Do you really need to do this? If you’re wrong, there is no going back from this.”
I rub at my chest.
“I’m not wrong about what she’s done. I just need to know why, to decide if it’s forgivable or not.”
“And you think she will forgive you after?”
I chew on my lip.
“I don’t care.”
As soon as I say the words out loud, I know that isn’t true. But this is the only way I know how. The only way to make her see the true monster I am.
Because even if I can forgive her, I’m not worthy of keeping her. I’ll wreck her just like she’s wrecked me.
“Fine. I’ll send them across. Just be careful.”
“I always am.”
He takes a breath.
“I’m not just talking about her. I mean you. You’re invested in her, clearly. You’re hurting about something.”
He has no fucking idea.
“She framed me for murder, Drago. I think she’s working with The Preacher. If that is the case, none of it matters because none of it was ever real.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry, Finn.”
“Not as sorry as I am. But, look at the bright side, we might get closer to The Preacher and can take him the fuck down,” I reply flatly.
“Do you want me to send one of your brothers over?” he asks.
“No. Don’t breathe a word of this. If you’re concerned, either you come here or send one of the twins. I don’t need my brothers being wrapped up in my marital problems. But this probably isn’t something any of you need to witness. This is between me and her.”
They’ll see right through me.
They might see my hurt.
I can’t let them. I deal with my pain the only way I know how. By inflicting more of it.
“Okay. Email is sending now.”
“Why do you need the contract? If she’s part of The Preacher’s organization, she won’t be walking back out of here, will she?”
That thought makes me feel sick. Because even if this was a lie, my feelings weren’t. I’m not sure either of us will be walking out of that room at the end of the trial.
There isn’t an illusion of survival like in my brothers’ games.
No. With this one, the threat is real.
Neither of us are ending up as a widow. But I don’t tell him that. If that is how it needs to go down, I’ll say a proper goodbye to them all first.
“No. She won’t. But I’d like my wife to sign it so I have it. A reminder of why I will never trust anyone ever again. And she might start to understand more about me by reading it.”
“Let’s think about that if we reach that hurdle, Finn. She might just surprise you.”
I click my tongue against my teeth. I doubt it. I know what I saw.
