Page 164 of Intense
“Maybe it’s a sign to finally set it free. We gotta work through it to come out on the other side, Finn,” I whisper.
Stroking his cheek, I wipe away a tear, and the last part of my heart that I was protecting from him—just became his.
“I’m scared, love.” He speaks so quietly.
My own stream of tears is set free.
“I know, baby. I know. But by holding onto it, letting it live in your brain, you’re letting that memory win. You’re giving it power that it doesn’t deserve from you.“
“I just want to forget.”
“And one day, you will, I promise you. We can make new memories to replace the evil. We’ve got this. Come back to bed? Don’t let it win.”
He swallows but shakes his head.
“I really could have killed you, Stephanie.”
I nod in understanding.
“But you didn’t, Finn.”
“Not this time. But what about if it happens again? Sleeping with you in my arms is the calmest I’ve ever been, and it still happened. I can’t escape my nightmares. I can’t trust myself around you.”
“I’m aware of it now, we can take precautions.” I pause. “Like a gun in my nightstand maybe?”
A slow smile spreads across his lips.
“Temptress, this really isn’t a joke. I can’t lose you.”
I shrug.
“Sometimes you have to make light out of your trauma. I’m still standing. You choked me in your sleep, that's all. You have my consent to do whatever you want to me any time of the day, awake or not.”
He chokes on a cough.
“Don’t give me that kind of power over you.”
I place my hand on his bare chest.
“I can give you whatever the hell I want. It’s only mine to give. Now, why don’t you go and get some water and have acigarette, I’ve got some stashed in my cupboard with the mugs. Clear your head under the stars, and when you’re ready, slip back into bed, cuddle me, and pretend it never happened.”
His finger strokes along my cheek, and he leans in, stealing a kiss from me.
“I’ll do that.”
“Good. And don’t go disappearing on me and running away, because I will chase you down, Dr. Quinn. You wanted me, you’ve got me, now you can’t leave me.”
I mean this more than he will ever know.
And as his face softens, it’s like he understands my silent plea. Don’t leave me.
“Never,” he whispers.
And then he’s gone.
Chapter 55
FINN
