Page 197 of Intense
He shoves the gun back in its holster on his waistband, and I let out a slow breath. But then as his fingertip runs along my snake tattoo, tracing every line, my stomach flips.
I might be fucking crazy, but even after this stunt, my feelings towards him haven’t changed. I just want him to understand, not just what I’ve done, but who I am.
No one ever has, but he could. If he’d stop shutting himself off. Trying to prove he’s a monster, when really, he’s just staring right back at another one.
“No. I had no idea my wife was as bad as me,” he whispers.
“Now what?” I ask, swallowing hard.
“I guess you passed this room. I’ll be back shortly for your final trial. And this one, even I have no control over. There is nothing you can say or do. It’s either in you to pass or it’s not.”
I frown, taking in his words. What the hell does he mean?
“And what if I win?”
A small smile tugs on his lips.
“You’ll get a shot to prove your loyalty to me again. But winning shouldn’t be your concern. Think about what will happen to you if you lose.”
My mouth drops open and he releases me.
“Do we have to do this trial? Can’t we just talk?”
He shakes his head.
“Love, when you’ve lived the life that I have, you learn never to trust what someone says. Even if that person owns your fuckin’ heart. There is only one way for me to fully believe you. To know you’re completely in. I believe you. I do. But what I feel for you could cloud my judgment. I can’t risk that, not when it comes to our enemies and protecting my blood.”
I swallow the bile rising in my throat. The guilt is eating me alive. I blink back the tears.
“I don’t want to lose you, Finn. I’m not bothered about dying. About paying for my sins. I didn’t want this to happen.”
He lowers his gaze to the floor.
“Have you ever heard of The Preacher?” he asks.
“No? Is that what the PR stands for?”
He nods.
“I believe so, love. I believe so. And they’re exactly the kind of people we would both murder.”
So they’re abusers. Traffickers, perhaps?
“And they know who I am,” I whisper.
Finn sighs as he steps towards me.
“Our plan is to take them down. To stop the cult in their tracks. But it’s harder than we ever imagined. It’s going to take time, manpower, and a lot of skill.”
“I can help,” I cut in.
“If you’d have told me before this point, perhaps. Let’s see how the next trial goes.”
As he goes to leave, I grab his hand.
“If I fail the next room, can I ask one last thing of you?” I ask him.
He chews on his lip and nods.
