Page 9 of Before We Say Goodbye
“Can I join you?”
Otis should have been more comfortable with her by then, but her question turned him to stone. Unfazed and not officially invited—considering Otis was unable to utter even the simplest response—she lay down and rested her head next to his on the pillow. Otis caught himself with his mouth open, his mind ablaze with the reality of the moment. If she could smell of desire, she did so then. Perhaps he was about to be used, or maybe it was more, but either way, she had come for him.
Rebecca faced him. “What a night.”
“Indeed. Very bright stars.”Very bright stars?Had he just said that, on the precipice of what was to come?Very bright stars.His father would take the wordveryand slap him with it.
She didn’t laugh at him. Instead, she looked at him as if he were an adorable puppy who hadn’t quite figured out how to walk yet. She placed her hand on his chest.
His heart thumped as if a timpanist stuck in Otis’s chest were striking his instrument in the climax of a symphony. Could she tell what she was doing to him?
Enough,he thought.Get out of your head.A kiss was coming. His legs shivered; he’d never kissed a girl in his life.
“How long were you going to make me wait for you?” Her whispered question startled him, causing the timpanist to fall out of rhythm. He’d probably fallen out of his seat and knocked over an entire row of oboists.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re still afraid of me.”
“Intimidated maybe.”
“So you need an invitation then?”
He chuckled and slid his eyes to her. “Preferably a written one, yes. Don’t forget that you’ll have to persuade me with your prose. Beware of lazy adjectives and dangling modifiers. I am not easy, you know.” Only she could do that to him, give him courage.
“Oh, I’ve figured that out,” she said.
Why did she look at him so, as if she were truly mesmerized and even impressed by him? She saw something that he didn’t see when he forced himself to look in the mirror.
A silence that hadn’t likely existed since the aftermath of the Big Bang followed. They’d come to a crossroads, a moment in time where Otis was cornered into making the most important decision of his life. Not that it was much of a decision at all, but the self-doubt running through him was still so heavy that he wasn’t sure, even after her comment about the invitation, that he was worthy of her physical affection.
People like him didn’t get to kiss people like her. Even if he did, what would happen from there? He would botch every moment. There would be no Big Bang about it.
All the doubt in the world wasn’t enough to keep him from giving it his best shot, though. As he moved toward her, it wasn’t with the feral voracity of a tiger or even the desperate craving of an animal at all. Every millimeter—yes, millimeter, as he still refused to cede the metric system—that he moved toward her felt like crawling into the cave of a monster.
Nevertheless, he pushed through, because this was a chance that he would not miss, and with his eyes closed, he bumped right into her forehead, missing her mouth altogether.
She laughed while he wished that he could disappear. That was it, he’d blown it, and he was convinced she was a second from leaping uplike he was a leper and run, run, running away, seeking a man more fit for her perfection.
His face flushed, and he pressed his eyes closed with such intensity that he became dizzy.Take me away from here,he begged.
Her laugh wasn’t sinister, though, certainly not mocking. Perhaps more a giggle.
Otis opened his eyes, and she was still there. Her laugh had melted to a slight grin. He felt a million things, but the strongest was an inviting, welcoming, forgiving, loving sensation that made him feel like he was home, like he’d been lost all his life and now he was found.
Rebecca reached over and touched his skin, gliding a finger along his cheek and to his chin.
In a whisper as comforting as a feather bed, she said, “Let’s try again.”
Oh, dear Lord, when their lips met the next time, Otis felt like they’d rattled the moon. All the philosophy they’d discussed, the solutions to the world’s problems, the answers to life’s purpose, it all came together then.
“Again,” he whispered as she pulled away. This time he took more charge. He certainly didn’t turn from Bambi to a gladiator, but he felt a cinder of strength ignite deep within.
She liked him.
For some unexplained reason, more unexplainable than the existence of God, she was attracted to him. Perhaps he was merely a play toy for her, but it didn’t feel that way.
He couldn’t discount what had led them to this point, days and many miles of travel and conversation. What if this was his break? What if the runt of the litter was finally being chosen?
