Page 50 of The Singing Trees
The English Leather he wore drew her in, reminding her how intimate they’d once been, and now here he was saying a much more severe goodbye than the one they’d shared not so long ago. She cried into his chest, thinking that the love of her entire life might not come home.What-ifsblasted through her mind. What if she hadn’t broken up with him? What if she’d never said yes to their first date? What if she hadn’t invited Emma over?
Eventually letting go, she wiped her eyes. “What about Canada?”
A quick shake of the head. “I’m not running. It’s all right. I’m good with it now.”
She looked up at the sky, where a cloud slowly passed by. Her mind went to darker places, to the news reports she’d been watching and reading about for years, all the men who never came home. Or the ones who had, but without all their limbs. Or others who’d made it home intact physically but so broken emotionally that they hadn’t been able to reintegrate into normal life.
The truth was if he came home, he would come back a different man. They all did.
It was Vietnam.
“Anna, I’m serious. It won’t be much different than my war at home. Maybe a few more guns. I’m ready. Mitch is still there; maybe I’ll get to see him. I wanted to say goodbye and...” She watched a tear slip down his cheek. “...and ask if you’d write me,” he finished. “I respect that you don’t want a relationship, but I’m hoping we can be friends. If you don’t—”
The floodgates opened, and she wept for him again. “Yes, I’ll write you. Of course I will.”
He pulled her back in for another hug.
When they broke away this time, she asked, “How’s Emma taking the news?” She mopped her face, realizing that she herself wasn’t the only one losing him.
“As you can imagine, she’s pretty torn up. I hate leaving her, but I have no choice...” He started to say more but stopped. Did anyone love their sister like he did?
Feeling like all bets were off, Annalisa reached for his hand, not wanting to let go, not wanting to lose him. “I can only imagine what she’s going through. Life’s just not fair, is it? Such a childish thing to say, but it isn’t. Just when you think it can’t get any worse.”
He looked at their interlocked hands. “Tell me about it.” Did he feel that same connection? Or was he already off at war, with no more time for love?
“I’ll check in on her from Portland,” Annalisa promised. “I know she’s gonna need someone. Please tell her I’m here for her...if she ever wants to see me again.”
He offered a smile. “That’s very kind of you. I’ll definitely tell her. So would ya take care of my car, Anna? You’ll need it down there, so you can come back up and visit Nonna.”
“I’m not taking your car, stupid,” she said, laughing through her tears.
He looked back at the taxi driver. “I’ve already paid him to follow me all the way here. I’m leaving the car, Anna. Let me do this for you. As a friend.”
As much as she didn’t want to—as much as she knew that driving his car would crush her—she thought that maybe he needed her to take it. Perhaps it would serve to keep their connection and give him a reason to stay alive and figure out his way back home.
“I’d be honored.”
He let go of her hand so that he could dig the keys out of his pocket. Was that the last time they’d ever touch?Oh God, please take care of him,she prayed.
Annalisa took the keys and thanked him. She wanted more of him. She wanted to grab his hand again and take him away, to Canada or anywhere.Please God, don’t take him from me.
“Bye, Anna,” he said, attempting to be strong.
“Goodbye, Thomas,” she whispered, crying again.
He rubbed his eyes. “I love you,” he said, and without forcing her to respond, he turned and walked toward the taxi with his head held high.
“I love you too,” she whispered back, not loud enough for him to hear.
Part II
JUNE1970TOJANUARY1972
Chapter 17
BREAKINGOUT OF THECAGE
It took longer than Annalisa had anticipated to find an apartment in Portland, and she was starting to worry that she wouldn’t have a place by the time the art classes started on June 30. Nino had taken her to the city four times in May, chasing down leads. She wasn’t excited about anything, and she refused to move until it was the perfect place. She had to feel inspired, or what was the point? Of course, even the finest apartment in all of Portland might not give her the inspiration she needed.
