Page 37 of The Singing Trees
“As far as my sister, she’ll support me. She knows I can’t live at home forever.”
“I’m not so sure.” Annalisa felt very strongly that Emma was in no position to lose her brother.
He reached for her hand, and she could see that he was trying to relax. “I love you, Anna, and I want to marry you. I don’t care about a degree from Weston.”
The L-word and the M-word scared her. She had strong feelings for him, too, no question. He’d shown at every turn that he’d be there for her, but every single day created more vulnerability—with her heart, her career,hisheart and career, and even Emma’s.
Unsure how to chip away at the conflict between her head and heart, she attacked the more obvious point. “What about dental school?”
“I can still get into dental school from UMPG.” He let go of her hand to change gears. “Think about it, Anna. You graduate in a few months. I could wrap up the semester and transfer. My deferment wouldn’t change. And we could move down to Portland together, get our own place.”
It was a good thing he couldn’t see her face. She felt like he’d just intentionally swung off the road for a bumpy race through the trees.
He said, “Imagine that. You and I in the city, finally free of all this bullshit.”
In theory, the idea was nice, even wonderful, but... “I’m not ready to get married, Thomas. I’m not even ready to talk about marriage—not that I don’t have strong feelings for you. It’s just...a few months ago I wasn’t even interested in a relationship.”
“Things have changed, haven’t they?” he said, glancing over. “For both of us. I didn’t know I’d find you. The day before I met you, I thought I’d have to leave the state to find my soul mate.”
“You weren’tsupposedto find me,” she said with frustration. He was right; they were soul mates, but they’d met too soon. “I had everything under control. I had my life worked out.”
Thomas shifted down to make a turn. “Well, I’m sorry. What am I supposed to say? It’s happened. We’ve happened. And there’s no going back. Not for me, at least. I love you, and my whole life changed the second I saw you in that museum. Sure, we don’t come from thesame places, and we have a few obstacles to deal with, but I don’t care. Nothing is going to stop me. Nothing can stop us.”
She gripped her jeans, desperately wanting to tell him how she felt. “I...I...” She couldn’t do it.
“What?” he asked.
Was it this hard to tell a guy that she loved him? The problem was it felt more like an admission out of guilt than it did a gesture of attraction. It was way too heavy a conversation. Annalisa had climbed into his car to go skiing, not to map out the rest of her life. Her mind and heart were in overload. Yes, she loved him, but was that enough? Admitting it could make things worse.
She gave up trying. “I don’t know what to say, Thomas. You’re the thing I didn’t plan for in life, and I do care about you. But we’re young. What if we’re too young to make such big decisions? What if choosingusis the one thing we end up regretting?”
He bit his lip. “I’m not asking you to put me before your career. Is that what this is about? I never would ask that of you. I want to join you in whatever it is you have planned. I get that you’re an artist, and that’s what gets you out of bed in the morning. I love that about you. That might be my favorite thing about you, but you don’t have to choose; that’s what I’m trying to say. Let’s chase our dreams together. The deal is...youare what gets me out of bed in the morning.”
The love pouring over her was almost more than she could handle, and part of her could have opened the door and jumped out, her body rolling off the shoulder into the safety of a ditch. “I’m afraid.”
He put a hand on her thigh again. “I know you are. Me too. But I’m more afraid of what happens if we say goodbye. I don’t need my parents’ approval. All I need is you. The rest will fall into place.”
Would it fall into place?she wondered. He couldn’t know that. They could just as easily run off the road into a fiery explosion.
Chapter 12
A U-TURN
A few warm days in mid-March melted what was left of the snow from the blizzard a week earlier. Though that meant mud season was upon them, it also meant Annalisa could start painting outside again.
In preparation for another visit from Emma, she’d rolled out the giant sheet of paint-splattered canvas that she used to protect the brick floor of the front porch. While setting up a second chair to face the easel, she saw the yellow Beetle pulling up.
They exchanged waves as the siblings approached the porch. Setting eyes on Thomas in his Bruins sweatshirt, she thought that she was melting for him just like the last of the snow melted for spring. Forget for a moment the near cosmic physical attraction she felt. The thing getting her was his devotion to their relationship. Undeterred by his father’s warnings, Thomas had continued to see Annalisa and kept showing her in so many ways how much he loved her. Sure, his dropping the L-word and suggesting he move to Portland had scared her, but why? What was so bad about him following her? She had to admit that having a partner in crime to join her on her adventure did sound wonderful.
The other tug of her heartstrings was the genuine care he showed for other people, despite his troubles at home. Here he was sacrificing his day, even his time with Annalisa, so that his sister could continue to break out of her shell. You didn’t find men like that every day.
He jumped two steps at a time to steal a kiss from Annalisa. “Look at this,” he said, seeing her outdoor studio for the first time. “This is where it all goes down, huh?”
“Days like this, for sure,” she said, looking up to the sun, feeling its warmth on her skin. She hugged Emma at the top of the steps. “What a nice day to hang out. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me too,” Emma responded, and Annalisa could tell she really meant it. In a way, they were each the sister the other never had. As if proving Emma’s newfound confidence, she said, “I’m gonna say hi to Nonna, let you two talk for a sec. Be right back.”
“Yeah, right on,” Thomas said, acting casual. Annalisa could tell by the lightness in his demeanor, though, that his sister’s uplifted spirit was a miracle to him.
