Page 89 of The Singing Trees
Annalisa shook her head, still so incredibly baffled that this was happening, that her soul mate had fallen in love with another. How could he have found anything like what the two of them had?
Annalisa pinched the bridge of her nose. “Thanks for saying that, but I don’t understand. How long has this been going on?” She couldn’t stop herself from crying.
Emma sounded equally upset as she said, “I’m going to hang up now. Please don’t call here anymore. Goodbye.” Then a click.
Annalisa dialed back but no one answered. She tried three more times before realizing that she’d been cut out of the family like a cancerous tumor.
Chapter 32
THEDAYS(DAZE) AFTER
Leveled to the core, Annalisa collected the letter and the photograph, crumpled them up, and tossed them into the garbage. Nothing would ever be the same again in her life.
Half of her wished him here so that she could ask and understand why he’d done it, why he’d worked so hard to earn her trust and love—only to squash it in such horrid fashion. As the minutes ticked by, her anger turned so red inside that all she wanted to do was move on. She couldn’t sit with these feelings any longer. No, she wanted them all to go away, to cut them out just like the Barneses had just cut her out.
She wanted Thomas to go away.
Their baby kicked, reminding her of the one connection between them that could never be severed. How could he have done that to their child? Then she remembered he didn’t know about the baby. As angry as she was, she didn’t want to tell him. Ever.
Thinking about her baby’s future, she moved to the couch and curled up, holding her knees, searching for answers in the swell of fear. A need to protect her baby came over her. Ugly yet possible scenarios played out in her mind. She imagined the Barnes family with all their money somehow trying to take the baby. Mrs.Barnes had mentioned grandchildren enough. She imagined Linh raising Annalisa’s child. Or at the very worst, she imagined a life where she had to share her babywith Thomas and his family, shuffling the child back and forth every other week or weekend. Annalisa couldn’t bear that. She couldn’t take that risk.
There on the couch, still raw from the opening of that fateful envelope, she decided that she had to protect her baby from the agony of love and loss. She had to protect her baby from a man who was ultimately untrustworthy. And therefore she had to keep the baby a secret from the Barneses—all of them. All the anger that had replaced her sadness gave her strength. This was her baby, not his, and she couldn’t bring him into the world with a terrible father and an unloving family. No, Annalisa had been there. She couldn’t let her son live the same fate.
Not wanting to drag Walt into her plan, the first decision she made was to call Nino and enlist his help. She needed to return Thomas’s car and the ring he’d put on her finger. Her cousin had just gotten off work. Filling him in on what had happened, she asked, “Would you follow me to Davenport? I want to do it at night so I don’t have to speak to his family.”
“I told you he wasn’t good enough for you, cuz. Of course I’ll help.”
Annalisa thanked him and hung up. Her mind raced as she searched for Thomas’s car keys.
Love to fury in an instant. Thomas’s service in that god-awful war held her back from hating him. How could she blame him for losing his way in a world where such evil crimes were committed? She hated the circumstances and she hated the war, but maybe she didn’t hate Thomas.
But she couldn’t forgive him.
All she wanted to do was remove him from her life.
On the long drive to Payton Mills, she rode a wave peaking in fits of steering-wheel-hitting rage and bottoming out in miserable, gut-wrenching sobs.
Why had she been so dumb? Now everything was ruined. She’d come to not only accept but get excited about the pregnancy. It was part of their dream.Theirdream. Now that he was gone, did it matter? She was back on her own, and how in the world could she make it? Her own stupidity and hope for love had put her back on a one-way track to being barefoot and pregnant in the Mills. How could she possibly raise a child alone in Portland? She had her hands full enough taking care of herself and Walt. She could have made it until Thomas’s return, but now she would be alone forever.
She met Nino at his house and gave him a quick hug. He tried to comfort her, but she wanted to focus only on the task at hand. When they reached the Barneses’ neighborhood, they exchanged vehicles. Once she had figured out how to operate his Mustang, Annalisa led him into the Barneses’ driveway. Only a few lights shined from the windows of the big white house. It was 9:00 p.m., and a strong salty wind rushed up from the cove.
Following her instructions, Nino pulled up behind Mr.Barnes’s Cadillac and left the yellow Beetle there. An envelope carrying the ring and a short note waited to be discovered on the passenger seat.
It’s over, Thomas. If you ever cared for me, please do not contact me again.
What else could she say? An explanation would have been nice, but not at the risk of losing her baby. She remembered how he’d respected her wish that he let them go when she’d first broken up with him as they walked through her neighborhood. Hopefully, he’d show the same decency after reading this note. The last thing she wanted was to hear his excuses. The proof was in the photograph.
Nino rushed back to the car, and she began to back away. In the rearview mirror, she saw Mr.Barnes coming out the front door.Annalisa knew he’d be pleased to see they’d finally gotten rid of the poor Italian girl.
It was the end, she thought, as the big white house disappeared from view. The end of her era with Thomas, with the VW, with Davenport. She’d never come back here again, and she couldn’t ever forgive him. And he would never know that his child would enter the world in February of 1972.
They pulled over, and Nino reclaimed the wheel. Driving back to the Mills, Nino showed his concern with questions that she wished she could answer, but ultimately, she was dead inside and didn’t have an answer for anything anymore.
“Wanna go get some beers?” he asked. “Are you staying the night?”
“No,” she said quickly. “I’m tired. I just want to get to my bed and never get out.”
He glanced at her. “I get it. So when you do get out, what will you do? You have to come back to the Mills. Let the family get involved.”
