Page 27 of Red Mountain Burning
Pinotage Sabotage
Holy hell, Otis’s monkey mind was running wild tonight. Joan was sleeping peacefully next to him, as if she didn’t have a care in the world, most likely galloping on a unicorn through a field of wildflowers, probably chasing neon-winged butterflies in the mellow glow of dawn. Every night, she’d kiss his cheek, tell him goodnight, and then drift off within seconds, leaving Otis to soak in the poison of the world, stewing over his issues like a warlock stirring his cauldron.
Otis could have—andshould have—bought the Davidson property before Drink Flamingo had sunk its claws into it. All of this emotional toil could have been avoided. He remembered seeing theFor Salesign and, for a moment, thinking he’d better find a way to put the money together. But then he’d decided he couldn’t buy every piece of land that went up for sale. He had to trust that things would work out.
As if! Since when did things work out?
Otis raised his hands and imagined wrapping his fingers around Bellflour’s neck. He could see the man’s eyes as he squeezed, the flames burning in the irises, the devil incarnate gasping for air. Oh, why in the hell hadn’t Otis let the coyotes tear him apart, limb by limb? Otis tightened his grasp on Bellflour’s neck, strangling the life out of him.
Back in reality, Joan stirred beside him. “I can feel you thinking,” she whispered, her eyes still closed, surely still dreaming of white lilies and purple daisies as the bright yellow ball lifted high above her unicorn dreams.
Otis grunted.
She shimmied close and put a finger on the space in between his eyebrows, what she called the third eye. Though Otis had always believed in the mystical powers of grapevines, he’d not believed in the power of humans until he met her—his first relationship with a sorceress. He couldn’t deny the power in her touch, no matter how hard he tried. There was an energy running through her that came from on high. And her touch at that moment made his chest rise, like she was charging him from the eternal source.
“You have a big life,” she said, her eyes still closed. “It’s understandable. But don’t get angry at yourself. Just watch the thoughts go by.”
“I know, I know. Let them move like a river past me. I’ve heard all of it before.”
“You have to keep trying. It takes practice.”
Otis processed a deep breath. “I have concerns tonight that can’t be discarded. In fact, I feel like I need to get up and write them all down.”
Joan placed her hand on his chest. “Think of sleep as a part of your to-do list. A very important part. Remember we went through this on our trip last year? Vacations and sleep should be high priorities for you right now.”
Otis pinched the bridge of his nose. “How in God’s name do you do it? How are you not worried about tomorrow? And how in bloody hell do you manage your chores without writing them down?”
“I’m not managing life the way you are. Mine’s a bit simpler. I have my calendar to remind me when I need to meet my clients, but other than that, I really only have one thing on my list.”
“Oh, and what is that? Save the world? Stop all wars? I feel like I’m in love with a Ted Talk.”
She laughed at that one. “Not quite. I just want to shine my light a little brighter every day.”
“Oh, brother. Give me a break.”
“If I could add an addendum to the one item on my list, it would be to have fun. If we’re not having fun, what’s the point? Typically, if you are having fun, your light is shining brighter. See how that works?”
Imagining what his own light looked like, Otis let out a short, staccato laugh. “My light is quite dim at the moment.”
Joan reached into the air and twisted an imaginary knob. “I’ve just turned up the dimmer. You should be good now.”
Otis chuckled. “As if it were so easy.”
“As if it weren’t. The only thing standing in your way is you.”
Otis put a hand behind his head. “Okay, I’ll play your game of enlightenment. How wouldyoustop all this thinking? And if you tell me to meditate an hour every morning, I’ll roll off the bed.”
“No, no, I think the grapefather requires much stronger intervention than meditation.” She had a wonderful gift for making his nickname sound unbearably silly.
“At least you acknowledge the seriousness of my dilemma.”
“I get it, my love. We’ll need the whole toolbox to set you right.” She thought for a moment. “The first order of business is to accept that you’ll never complete your to-do list. You’re playing life like a game of Tetris, and somewhere along the way, you’ve decided that the pieces would stop falling if you worked fast enough.”
Otis could see a game of Tetris in his mind, and he knew she was right.
“Let me tell you two things about living the game of Tetris. The pieces never stop coming. But more importantly, if you take a break and let them keep stacking, you don’t lose the game. In fact, as you take a step back and watch the pieces fall on top of each other, none of them fitting correctly, that’s the spot of pure bliss. That’s where you find peace.”
Had he not been in such an ugly mood, he might have complimented her on her wisdom. No wonder she regularly changed people’s lives. “It must be nice to know that you’ve already achieved enlightenment. What in God’s name might you do when you come back in the next life? Twiddle your little thumbs and watch me suffer again?”
