Page 23 of Hopelessly Teavoted
“I wanted to try to find some way to wrap my mind around it before school starts.” He paused, shutting his eyes and rubbing his left arm with his right before he opened them. “Sometimes it feels like my heart is actually breaking. Did you know grief can do that? Cause actual chest pain? I went and got it checked and everything.”
“Oh, Az,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry. I know they would be so proud of you, and this new job.”
He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it disheveled in a way that she tried to ignore. This wasn’t the moment to lose her mind over how good he looked a little bit messy.
“I start in two weeks. It feels like both an eternity and not enough time.”
“I get that,” she said, rubbing a hand over her own heart for a moment. “Tell me what you need.”
He nodded and swallowed, twisting a ring on his pinky that she recognized now. It was silver, and engraved with thorns, moons, and roses.
It had been his mother’s.
“I have this.” Az’s voice cracked. He wouldn’t want to part with the gift his father had given his mother in love. Maybe the last thing that he had.
“No,” she said firmly. “There must be objects around the apartment we can use before it comes to that. Is there a special gift that Benedict gave her? An heirloom they would have shared?”
Az swallowed, and his mouth tensed. “Sorry,” she said softly. “I didn’t mean to rub salt in the wound. I just know how much your parents meant to each other, and it’s a pretty safe bet that there’s something else.”
His brownish eyes lit up, and she studied the greenish speckles around the edges. It was as though his father’s gold and his mother’s brown had fought and each had won out, in their own ways. It was just like his parents. Passionate. Together.Wonderfully odd. She saw so much of Benedict and Persephone in him. So much of what she had once thought would be her true home.
“Salt and pepper shakers. She collected salt and pepper shakers. He bought her a little skull and raven set with an Edgar Allan Poe quote.” He smiled and rubbed at the crook of his left elbow. There was a small raven tattooed there that she hadn’t noticed before. The ink was crisp and fresh, either recent or well moisturized. Possibly both. “They were gray and black, a few inches tall. Damn, my parents were weird, but they loved each other so hard.” He paused. “I miss them,” he admitted.
Friends could hold hands in grief. She threaded hers through his again and squeezed, ignoring the tingling sensation of touching him.
Vickie’s fingers had more ideas than just hand-holding, though, and her other hand moved to trace the little bird.
“Is this new?”
“Yeah,” he said. His voice was quiet. Thick. “I got it right after they died. When I couldn’t go. I wanted a way to remember them.”
“It’s perfect,” she said, forcing her hand away from his inked skin. It was totally inappropriate to feel all sorts of tempting sensations for her friend while he described the depths of his grief. The winding of longing thrumming through her veins was as unyielding as her pulse. Goddess, she was an asshole. She needed to focus.
“Think she would have stored them upstairs in the apartment?” Vickie couldn’t bring herself to release the hand that held his, but she did step back, putting distance between them. For safety.
“Probably, yes. Is it empty?” His eyes clouded with emotion. Grief, probably.
“No. I haven’t had a chance to clean it out; I just kind of put everything in the den to clear out the bedroom.”
His mouth ticked up into a smile. “You’ve been living in the teeny upstairs apartment? The heiress to the Starnbergerfortune in a one-bedroom walk-up with creaky floorboards and a leaky shower?”
She smiled, forced now.
“Hey. The leak is fixed now, thanks to a bit of clever home improvement magic by your sister. Also, I’m aformerheiress. My parents cut me off, remember?”
He squeezed her hand before dropping it and nodding in the direction of the door.
“Priscilla made you go to Free Spirits, did she? The one with a dress code?”
Vickie smiled. “I made her meet me at Kessel Run, thatStar Warsbar, last week to make up for it. I introduced her to the nachos there, and the best table in the back corner. It’s my favorite.”
Azrael smiled wide now, and the crinkles at the corners of his eyes made her shoulders relax again until he frowned.
“I’ve been meaning to check that one out.” He cleared his throat. “About your parents. Sorry. That’s fucked up. You deserve better.” He paused, and then continued, softer. “You’ve always deserved better than them, Vickie.”
Shrugging, she studied his face. He looked earnest.
“It’s fine. They’re selfish. They never wanted me to cling too tightly. It was just a matter of time before I crossed their lines.”
