Page 14 of Who's Playing You
We all got paid. We all got drafted to some incredible teams with amazing coaches. Loving and Papas had teams that were thrilled to have them. So it’s not like I totally screwed them over.
I didn’truinour dreams.
I just… altered them.
But still… I did that.
Fuck, they’d never forgive me if they ever found out. I’d never had a secret that I kept from them, so everything just felt off.
But I had to remind myself ofmydream. The dream I’d had for almost a decade. One that solely revolved around one Scottie Anderson, soon-to-be, Soba.
Scottie had always been my end goal.
So if my boys knew that, knew that she was the reasoning, they couldn’t be too mad at me. After all, once I had Scottie, who’s not to say that San Fran would trade for us. Scottie would just come with.
Yeah, that was a solid plan.
I’d shoot my contact at San Fran a message tomorrow about trades for next season. I’d only need a few more months.
Then Scottie would be all mine.
Easy as pie.
7
SCOTTIE ANDERSON
My days consisted of… not much.
Pathetic.
I felt like my life had no point. No purpose. Not when I sat in my thoughts andreallydissected my life and its trajectory.
I mean, what was I doing?
I was living like the most boring vanilla and lonely existence. Ever. Cue the world’s smallest violin because I needed it. Perhaps have it be accompanied by the world’s smallest piano too.
Oh, hum.
As I sat in the window seat in my apartment and looked down over Main Street and out past the Catskill Mountains, I pulled my oversized T-shirt further over my thighs, feeling the need to cover myself because yet again I hadthatfeeling.
But I was in my own home…Alone.
I might need to talk to someone about this. They say the first thing to go is the mind…
I let out a cleansing breath.
I leaned down and grabbed my journal off the floor and opened it to a new page. It was time to stop being pathetic. Time to come up with a plan. Time to woman up.
I flipped through the pages and briefly stopped here and there to look at my scribbles, notes, passages, random words, and sketches that I’d added here and there through the years.
My eye caught on one of my figure drawings and a note to myself:Get a model and study the human figure so that you can finally master it! Stop procrastinating and making excuses, Scottie.
Message to self received.
But I remember how I’d wanted to master the human figure, something that I’d always struggled with. It was that and drawing horses. Horses were really difficult to draw and get right.
Maybe this was my sign from the Universe to finally stop moping around and reinvigorate myself.
