Page 20 of Who's Playing You
Oh wow, is this where I order a side of fries? Like seriously asshole, what is going on with you? It’s like you have literally fallen off the face of the Earth.
The Holy One:
I second that. If it weren’t for The Rage’s social posts that sometimes include you, and you’re never in the foreground!!! We’ll circle back to that btw. If it weren’t for those posts, we would have sent out the search and rescue team because it’s like you fell off the face of the Universe. What gives?
What can I say? I’ve been busy.
The Love Machine:
Bull-fucking-shit! I call bullshit so fucking hard. All three of us are in training camp. Sure, the Drillers are drilling my ass every day but I still have a life. I’m still able to call and text my friends, go out with my team and party, and hook up every fucking night.
The Holy One:
Oh I bet they’re drilling you, Love Bug.
The Love Machine:
Stfu Papas or I’ll drill something into you.
If you two are just going to flirt, please move that over to your private two-way chat. I don’t have time for this.
The Love Machine:
You can stfu too, asshole. You know you’re ignoring us, because you cannot be THAT busy. So what’s got you so preoccupied? Because in the last seven years, you have been the biggest fucking attention-whore that there is. You are all over social media, you are at every party, you are at every photo-op - every-fucking-thing. And now? NOTHING!!! Since you moved to NY, it’s like you literally went into witness protection or something.
The Holy One:
He’s spitting truths. So you better give us a real good explanation or otherwise we will call Mrs. Soba!
You’re going to tell on me, to my MOTHER???
The Love Machine:
We will do what we have to do… tick tock, motherfucker. Tick. Tock.
Idk what you want me to tell you, Kesha I’m finding my way here and let’s just say that the welcome wagon had like one wheel on it.
The Holy One:
Oh poor baby! They didn’t kiss your ass right off the bat?
The Love Machine:
How tragic.
You know what… idk why I was even bothering. Have a nice weekend. Bye.
The Love Machine:
Oh stop. Come back. We’re not sorry. Keep going.
Such a bunch of assholes you are.
The Holy One:
What else is new?
Yeah well, I was dealing with that and just trying to… idk attempt to gel with the team. Or whatever. Plus I bought a house and have been renovating it. It’s just been time consuming. Alright? Happy?
