Page 49 of Exes That Puck
I nod, pressing my lips together. “It was the reminder I needed, I think. This is just bad. It’s so stupid.”
“Maybe...” Lola pauses, choosing her words carefully. “Maybe stop sleeping with him for now?”
I look up sharply. “You think I should cut him off?”
“Not as punishment. Just space for clarity so feelings and patterns don’t blur together.”
“He’s different now,” I say, defensive. “He didn’t push last night. He’s being nice and caring and good to me.” The specifics spill out about the water and Advil, the quiet drop-off, no pressure for plans or promises. “That matters, right? He’s trying, so it’s a good sign, isn’t it?”
Lola nods. “Do you actually want to give him another chance? Like, be together?”
I snort. “Second chance? Try tenth.” I pause, considering. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to decide today. Don’t jump. If he’s changing, he’ll still be changing next week.” She steals one of my fries. “No decisions while you’re raw or hungover.”
That makes sense. Everything feels too big right now, too immediate.
“You should talk to Payton,” she says gently. “Maybe apologize.”
“Apologize to Payton? She’s not going to accept it. She’s impossible. She wants me to just end it.”
“She’s loyal. She’s watched you shatter, and she hates the person who drops you.”
I stare at a fry, guilt pricking at my chest. Walking me home when I was barefoot and crying. Sleeping on our floor. Extension emails. Standing guard outside the RA’s office. She’s not wrong about the history.
“Own your choice,” Lola says. “You’re doing what you want to do. So, don’t ask permission. Tell Pay that you heard her, you love her, and you’re setting boundaries this time.”
She helps me craft a script while I pick at my burger. Something that acknowledges the damage without making excuses.
I pull out my phone and start typing.
Kara: I’m sorry for this morning. You’ve had my back through everything, and I love you so much for it. I’m not back with him. I’m keeping distance and I’ll be honest if that changes. I love you. Can we talk tonight?
The message shows delivered. No immediate dots.
“What if she doesn’t forgive me?” I ask, worried.
“She will. But give her time to be mad first.” Lola reaches across the table. “And maybe we do a buddy system this week? Text me before any Zeke meetup. Just ‘going’ and ‘home.’ Nothing dramatic.”
Relief I didn’t know I needed washes over me. “That sounds good.”
We split the check, and the cold air stings our cheeks when we step outside. I pocket my phone without checking for messages.
Halfway down the block, my phone buzzes.
Payton:Tonight. 8, our room.
Short, clipped, but it’s a bridge.
I text Lola a prayer hands emoji and take a deep breath. One talk at a time. One boundary at a time.
I can do this.
19
I open my notes app and scroll to the list I started yesterday. “Rules for me” sits at the top, followed by bullet points I’ve been adding to throughout the week.
No pop-ins. No bait texts. Ask, don’t assume. Keep it off socials. Gym over spiral.
