Page 58 of Loving Ladybug: Part One
Mmmm. There was nothing quite like fresh popped popcorn. We always grew some gourmet popping corn and dried it for the year.
“I like that. It needs a flower box!” Gwen laughed again.
I loved her laugh and how free she looked when laughing.
“I’m going to finish practicing. Chat you later,” she added.
I turned to Ma. “I was thinking of putting it back by the chicken coop.”
Ma was a beta, brown-haired and stocky, from generations of beta farmers that had settled here long ago, looking for the freedom and independence they didn’t have in their home countries because of their designation. This was her family’s farm that they’d had for a long time. She was a social worker and worked mostly with teenagers.
She gave me a look as she filled the air popper up with popcorn. “You’re actually building a barn here and getting her a mini cow? I thought you were joking.”
“I mean, if she wants me to, I will.” It wouldn’t come to that much and I could handle the upkeep costs, so it wouldn’t be a burden. I’d bribe my littlest sister to handle the chores. “It makes her happy. Look at the cow-house I designed, Ma.”
“It’s very cute, Sweetie. You did a great job.” She admired the sketch. “It makes her happytalkingabout it. But would a mini cow she’ll never see truly make her happy? The girl needs so many other things more. Didn’t she lose everything in the breakupandis going into her last year of university?”
I nodded. “Dimitri’s getting her some clothes this weekend.”
My mom gave me a bone-chilling mom-stare. “She’s only now getting clothes? Hasn’t it been a month?”
“I got her some stuff before I left. When we were at that used bookstore, I found beautiful versions of her favorite series that he ruined.” I’d give them to her when I saw her next.
“While sweet, she can’t wear books.”
I frowned. “She wears mostly workout clothes, and her university hoodie, and her work uniform. She got some sundresses and someone got her Cowboy boots. I mean, if she needed things sooner, she’d ask one of us, right?”
All those pictures of Gwen from the farm were too cute. Her picking berries. In a tree. On a hayride. Throwing axes.
“Would she now?” My mom made an annoyed noise as she melted the butter, thepop popof the kernels filling the air.
My frown deepened. “Why wouldn’t she ask? We’re friends.”
“Not everyone grows up in a home where it’s okay to ask to have their needs met.” She grabbed the salt as the plastic popcorn bowl continued to fill with white fluffy kernels.
“Ma, she’s not one of your teenagers.” The words troubled me. Shewouldtell me if she needed something, right? Gwen seemed to be doing okay.
“She could be. Something about her criesformer runaway.Look, maybe she’s doing great, but perhaps she doesn’t know how to ask you, or understand that you mean it. She’s a beta girl, and sometimes they have trouble advocating for themselves, not wanting to bother people with their needs–especiallyalphas.”
Ma tossed the popcorn with the melted butter and salt.
“Oh. I… I never thought about it that way.” Because Gwen seemed to be fearless. Still, I’d seen other sides of her. The Gwen that kept her head down to not ‘annoy’ the players that weren’t goalies. The Gwen that made herself small in Austin’s shadow. The Gwen who stuffed food in her pockets when she thought no one was looking.
“You can’t assume someone will always tell you what they need. That doesn’t mean you need to guess either. As an alpha, it’s your job to ask, offer, watch, and most importantly, make sure those you care about feelsafeasking for your help. And that they know it’s genuine and you’ll follow through. You care about her, right? I’ve only met her a few times, but she seems like a sweet girl.”
Ma put the salt away, then came over and stroked my hair, like I was still a boy.
“Of course I care about her. I… I had no idea. What did I miss?” The idea that she might not feel safe asking for my help hurt my heart. From the moment I met her, I cared about her so fucking much.
Last summer, the EBUGs were helping at developmental camp. I was a scared farm kid who’d just been signed, hoping I didn’t screw up my big chance at being a pro hockey player. She was this teasing pink ray of sunshine. There was something about her that called to me, made me want to be her friend.
Okay, there was something about her that made me want to bemuchmore than friends. Back then, she’d been very taken.
Ma hugged me. “Hey, you’ll figure it out, Sweetie. Make sure youfollow through.Let her know she can trust you. Things are still rough for her, so be a good friend, check in with her, and make sure she gets what she needs. It’s probably not a cow.”
“What about a kitten from under the barn?” My pre-teen sister, Tess, bounded into the kitchen. Her hair was in two long braids, her nose full of freckles.
“Ooh, I should bring Gwen a kitten. That’s exactly what she needs. She was so upset when she had to give the kitten she found in a tree back to the zoo, since it was really a tiger. She’s been feeling alone, and a kitten will help with that.” It also wasn’t any of the ideas Dimitri had shot down. I stood and turned to my sister. “Are they weaned? Help me pick out a kitten for Gwen?”
