Page 33 of Loving Ladybug: Part One
“As long as you’re not living a double life, you’re fine,” I joked. Morgan had been. A life with me when I was home and a life with them when I was on the road.
Gwen’s head bowed as she held the pillow to her chest, shivering as she took in a breath. “I’m not living a double life. But I left a life behind after my mom died. My dads are assholes who didn’t like me playing hockey.”
I wanted to bundle her in my arms and hold her. But I wasn’t sure she’d accept my touch so soon. Still, the alpha in me hated that I made her upset.
“When you moved away to play junior hockey after your grandparents died?” The few things she’d said fit together. There were still people who thought only alphas should play the rougher sports, like hockey and rugby.
She absently ran her fingers over the stitches on her forehead. “Yeah. My name was changed legally. Mostly I try to not talk about things instead of lying. But…”
I came up next to her. “That’s different.”
“Lies to protect yourself still can hurt people.” Her voice turned bitter, and she looked away.
“Keeping secrets for safety is something I understand, and I appreciate you sharing that with me.” My heart broke for her as I moved to meet her gaze.
“Austin didn’t know much about my past. He got his jock in a twist when he found out Gwen wasn’t the name I was born with. Ironic, considering his name isn’t Austin. One time we were dancing at a club and ran into someone from my past who knew my old name. It was one of those weird things.” Her scent took on a bit of burnt sugar, fear.
“It happens. My sister’s a singer. When I was a teenager, I’d go on the road with her during the summer. It’s always funny when I’m out with the hockey team and people arewait, aren’t you Zaya’s little brother, the one who’d wear the dinosaur costumeand shoot T-shirts into the crowd?” I offered, trying to soothe her fears before I hugged her to my chest and never let her go.
She let out a little chuckle. “I need photos.”
“Maybe this summer we’ll hunt her down and she’ll show you all the pictures. You’re no-contact with your family?” I asked.
“I… I wanted to keep in contact with some of my siblings, but I can’t do that. It’s all or nothing. I get it if this is a deal breaker for you. I’ll miss our practices.” She put the pillow back and her head hung.
The hopelessness in her face, her voice, made my heart break even more. Something about her brought out all of my protective instincts.
“Changing your name is pretty normal. I mean, Cooter changed his name to Cooter when he was nineteen.” I hated how defeated she looked.
“Cooter is his legal name and not his nickname?” She blinked.
“Yes. At Crestdale, half my class changed their name to something having to do with nature. My sister changed her last name when she became a singer, and I changed my name to match hers when I was living with her because it made things less complicated. Also, people go no-contact with family members,” I added, thinking of those who’d stopped talking to Zaya and me after our parents died.
“True. I don’t really tell people stuff like that. You’re easy to talk to.” She shuddered a little, still looking scared and vulnerable.
“I’ll keep your secrets.” I wanted to make her happy, protect her, soothe her fragile soul. It went beyond the normal alpha need too. Something pulled me to her, and it differed greatly from how I’d been drawn to Morgan.
“You’re so nice and I’m sorry she lied to you.” Gwen’s arms wrapped around herself.
“I appreciate you trusting me. Should we go find some bears to hug?” I offered, wishing we were at the point in our friendship where I could hold her.
We set off in search of a teddy bear for my sister. Zaya collected them. It was the least I could do. She put her music career in a holding pattern to get me through high school. Our hard work and sacrifice paid off. Now, we both played for sold-out crowds.
There was a whole little area of Hardwicks merchandise, including a display of bears in an assortment of sizes.
“These are so soft.” Gwen rubbed a small bear on her cheek, a look of bliss on her face.
“Do you want one, too?” I offered, choosing a medium-sized dark brown bear in a green sweater for Zaya.
“I’m good.” With reluctance, she put it down.
“Gwen, do you want a bear? If I offer to buy it for you, I mean it. I’m not a starving student. It’s not a hardship. Talk to me?”
Gwen pressed her lips together, brows knitting in thought. I gave her an unamused look.
“Or is there something else you’d like?” I offered, recalling the food hall. “Something you need? Something you want? Either here or elsewhere.”
If her ex ruined all her things, there was most likely something she was doing without.
