Page 228 of Loving Ladybug: Part One
“I like my life.” And my bubble of ignorance.
“I know. It suits you. You can do your own thing and still see us. Promise. I’ll get your ticket if you want me to. Good night, Buttons.” He ended the call.
For a moment I sat there feeling everything all at once. Despite everything, I still loved my family. Even if the things people said about them were true. I didn’t want to be a part of that any more than I wanted conditions on love or money.
However, they’d seen me play. They told me they wereproud.I needed that.
“Babe?” The voice came from the other side of the plant.
My body tensed, and I took out my earbuds. A hoodie-covered head poked over the plant, and turned, so I couldn’t see his face.
Even without that familiar fabric softener scent wafting toward me, I’d know it was him. I scowled. “Don’tbabeme, Austin.”
Of course he’d show up. He knew this was where the Knights went after games from years of bartending here. He must have snuck in, otherwise someone would have texted me that they’d seen him. I texted Clark.
Me
Austin’s here. Still by the plant. Find me in five minutes.
“A shutout. Shit. What a debut game.” He leaned against the wall. “The NYIT game was good, too. You play like I remember. Back when you were good, back before you changed.”
Still sitting, I put my head on my knees, I also hit record on my phone and shoved it in my jacket pocket. Just in case. The accountant in me liked backup.
So hehadbeen at the NYIT game. Huh. But he might have been in New York for sponsor things or something.
“It’s too bad that I couldn’t be the one to bring it out of you. It hurt me so fucking much that I couldn’t fix you after you got kidnapped. And that you didn’t trust me enough with what happened.” His shoulders slumped.
“You fixed me more than you know,” I said softly, belly churning. “I wouldn’t have made it without you. Mostly because youdidn’tmake me talk about it. I don’t even trust myself with it most of the time. But you’re not here to talk about that, are you?”
“No,” he admitted.
“I don’t want an apology, explanation, or your money. You're unredeemable in my mind and will never get another chance. What you did to me was shitty on so many levels,” I spat. “However,pleaselet Windy know I didn’t murder you. His accusations are going to cause him trouble if he doesn’t stop.”
“Windy thinks what?” Disbelief rang through his voice.
“Did you even ever love me? I loved you with my very soul, Austin Blake. It breaks me up that I gave you everything and to you I was just your bang maid.” My voice shook.
I should leave. However, we were in a public place. Clark would come in a few minutes. Maybe I wanted a few answers…
“I loved you so much. It was like my heart got ripped from my chest when I knew it was over. I don’t want this life. I wanted a life with you and losing that chance hurt. Seeing you on the ice in a Knights’ jersey was a knife in the heart.” His dryer sheet scent grew salty as he continued to keep his back to me.
“Then why didn’t you fight for us? Five years, Austin.” I sniffed. “You simply gave up. Gave me up. Gaveusup. For what?”
“You don’t understand what families like mine are like. I blew my one chance at escape. I can’t fight this.” Frustration leaked into his voice.
“Can’t or won’t?” I snapped. I understood more than he’d ever know. Also, never underestimate the power of a good spreadsheet.
“Can’t.See, you don’t get it. I couldn’t take you with me, no matter how much I wanted to, and I’m so sorry.” His voice grew soft, and he turned toward me, the hood hiding his face.
“So, instead of having an adult conversation, you put me in the fucking hospital? Are you shitting my dick right now?” Next he was going to tell me he wore the skates tonight to let me know he still cared.
“I… I put you in the hospital?”
“What do you think throwing a skate at my head did?” I moved my bangs, so he could see my scar.
He sucked in a breath. “I… I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to go that far.”
“That far? Youmeantto hurt me? Of course, you didn’t know; you fled the state and changed your name.” Who was this alpha?
