Page 19 of Loving Ladybug: Part One
Had he done that? My heart went out to her.
“My girlfriend decided to have my friends’ baby behind my back and was upset that I left, instead of wanting to play happy pack with them.” That was the crux of it. I was the one who ruined everything by overreacting.
Jeez, Tenzie, it’s not like you didn’t want a pack–or that we don’t spend any time with them. Why are you making such a big deal about it? It’s perfect.
“I’m sorry. Need me to help you get your shit back? People helped me, I’m happy to return the favor.” The young woman held up her stick.
She was a foot shorter than me, but the fact that she offered to help me–a stranger–meant everything.
“Thanks. It’s been a little bit now, but I had to do some things this weekend that made everything feel so… final. Not that I want her back either, but…” I raked my hair with my hand. “I thought she was the one. After we broke up, I may have pretended that a target was her face and thrown axes at it.”
Then I may have gotten drunk with Cooter and belted sad country songs in his backyard.
She pressed her lips together, suppressing her smile. “I might have pretended the puck was my ex’s head.”
“Good choice. Feel better?”
“A little.” She gave me a shy smile.
“You struggle with your glove-side. Want me to shoot a few at you?” I offered.
“You don’t have to.” She shook her head. “Also, I don’t know if Tony told you, but youcanask me to leave. They only let me use this rink if I’m not a bother.”
“I’m fine with it.”
I shot some pucks at her and we ran a couple of drills.
While she was a little short for a PHL goalie, she wasfast.An alarm chirped.
She sighed. “This has been fun, but I have to go to work.”
“Oh. What do you do?” My head cocked. “Summer job? I remember those days. Mostly I waited tables.”
“I’ve done plenty of that. Today I’m wrangling little goalies.” She laughed as she did a few stretches. “Later, I’m either on skate rental or at the snack bar.”
“You work at the rink.” I nodded, her privileges making sense. “You play for NYIT?”
She nodded. “Goalie.”
I laughed. “I was thinking center. Hi, I’m Tenzin.”
“Gwen. Seriously, I can practice at other times if this is yours. Since I couldn’t sleep I thought I’d work some anger out so I don’t make any kids cry today. It’s not their fault I made shit life choices.” Gwen looked away, her voice bitter.
“Sometimes we don’t know they’re shit choices until they are. It’s like biting into a candy where you think it's one flavor, then realize it’s another.” My voice softened, because I knew how she felt.
I’d wondered for weeks what I did wrong, what I could have done differently. If I should just stopbeing difficult, make up with everyone, form a pack with them like they wanted, and go on with our lives.
She sucked in a breath. “That’s a good one. I’m just feeling sorry for myself.”
“Something I know well. I’ll see you tomorrow, if you’d like? We don’t have to talk. I… I recently moved here and I don’t have any practice buddies yet,” I offered tentatively, not wanting to come on too strong, but at the same time yearning for some human contact.
It had been a lonely weekend. Something about her called to me.
No. It was just my loneliness talking.
“I… I’d like that.” Her head ducked as she stood. With a wave, she grabbed her things and left the small rink.
And I returned to practicing. Alone.
