Page 176 of Loving Ladybug: Part One
And have time for things like this. We’d gone out to a restaurant on our list, then went dancing at our favorite place. Ithad been fun hearing all about his adventures with Cooter, and to spend time with the two of us.
Something felt off, but he’d flown in today and was probably tired.
“Not tonight, Firecracker.” He shook his head.
“Oh. Tired?” I deflated.
His look grew pained and my heart stopped. Oh shit. Something was wrong.
“I need a little more time, Firecracker. I also have some things to do early tomorrow.” He squeezed my shoulder. It had started to rain, so he’d wrapped his sweater around me
“Oh, okay. I’m absolutely fine with that. Watching our show wasn’t a euphemism. I just wanted to spend more time with you.” If he made a move, I’d take it. Tonight I was a horny little beta. If he didn’t, I’d happily sit and watch TV with him. I’d missed that simple act.
We stopped in front of my door and he set down my bags.
“I know.” He cupped my cheek with his hand.
“Okay. I… I missed you.” I tried to gulp down the lump in my throat. “Oh. So no yoga and a visit to see Marty tomorrow then?”
“I’m sorry. Want to practice on Sunday?” he offered.
“Sounds good. Text me.” I deflated. He probably had a shit-ton to do before training camp began.
“I will. I had a lovely time. Oh, I missed this. Good night, Gwen.” Tenzin’s enormous arms enveloped me in a hug.
“Good night.” I bit my lower lip as I opened the door with my code and held it with my foot. “Thanks for a great time.”
I took my things, then slipped inside and dropped my stuff onto the bench. My eyes teared as the door closed behind me.
“You’re home early.” Clark sat on the couch, playing a video game with his headset.
I kicked off my boots and dove onto the couch, burying my face in his side.
“I think I’ve just been friend-zoned.” That hug felt like goodbye, and sadness welled up inside me. I should have known better. He’d gone finishing with Cooter and realized he couldn’t be with someone like me.
“Hey, Gwen’s home. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said as he ended the game and took off his headset. “Sweetness, what’s wrong?”
“He needs more time.” I cried. “Tenzin didn’t even want to watch TV. He walked me to my door, hugged me, and said goodnight. He even turned down yoga. That’s like even worse than friend-zoning.”
We were over and he didn’t know how to tell me.
Clark stroked my hair. “I’m sure it’s not like that, Sweetness. I’ll go to yoga with you. Or we can go out to breakfast, then visit Marty.”
“It’s me, right? How could I have been so dumb?” I sobbed. “He doesn’t know if he wants to be with a broken beta like me. A murderer with secrets.”
“Hey, hey.” Clark tipped my head up. “No talking bad about yourself. You’re not broken. We havenoreason to believe this has anything to do with you. He had a pretty traumatic breakup and everyone deals with stuff differently.”
“You’re right. It’s just…” My chest shuddered. “I… I got really vulnerable with you both, revealed my deepest secrets, pushed you, and now…”
He held me tight, nuzzling my neck. “I’m sure that’s not it.”
“Okay.” I gulped again, grateful for Clark’s calming presence. “You’re right.”
“I’m right here.” Clark held me close, and I inhaled his hay and sunshine scent.
“Who were you playing video games with? Your siblings or Carlos?” I asked, trying to calm that part of me that felt abandoned.
Clark was right, it wasn’t me. He simply had a lot to do.
