Page 71 of Finding the Forward: Part One
Jonas hit the counter with his hand. “Tell. Me. I’m. Wrong.”
“What do you want from me?” I sobbed as the kitchen filled with anger, despair, and alpha dominance.
“Leave her alone. Her parents were assholes,” Grif yelled.
“So were mine. We’re not our parents, Verity. It’s clear you never got the chance to grow into your alpha. But denying it won’t go well for anyone. Becoming the alpha you’re meant to be doesn’t mean becoming an alphahole. That’s a choice, not destiny. I know you won’t make that choice,” Jonas told me, authority oozing out in a way that made my shoulders round and my head dip.
“She’s good enough for us.” Dean’s voice was almost a whine as he held me closer.
Could I? When it came down to it, did I have it in me?
“I never said she wasn’t alphaenough.I said I wasn’tconvincedshe could be what you need,” Jonas added, throwing out so many alpha pheromones that if I wasn’t between Grif and Dean, I’d get on my knees and bow my head in submission.
“I thought you said her gentleness adds something to the pack.” Grif glowered at Jonas, squeezing Dean, who whined and pressed into me further.
“It can. But she also needs a backbone. If you want this to go someplace, I need to know that you can be strong when I need you to. The most important thing is that how can I believe in you when you don’t even believe in yourself?” Jonas’ eyes met mine, his dominance suffocating.
All the breath left me like a punch in the stomach. He had a point.
A painful point.
“Alpha up and convince me or end it before someone gets hurt. Also, if you can’t set things right with AJ, it will never work.” Without waiting for an answer, Jonas left the kitchen in a cloud of frustration.
“That’s a bunch of bullshit.” Dean shot a look toward the hall. “Come on, let’s all go back to bed.”
“I should go.” My voice shook. It wasn’t bullshit. It was something my older brother had been telling me for a while, but it was easier to ignore what I was.
Jonas was right. I was analpha.Part of being in a pack, or a relationship, was protecting those you cared about. I was a liability, not an asset–and it had nothing to do with my stroke.
Dean made a pitiful omega whine that put all of my alpha instincts on alert, wanting to make the sad omega happy.
I wrapped my arms around him. “Dean, I can’t stay tonight. I’m sorry. It is not you, I promise. It’s not even Jonas or AJ. I didn’t plan on staying over and I have to take my sister to work in the morning.”
His lips pressed to mine, but unlike Grif’s kisses that were hungry and claiming, Dean’s kisses sought comfort and reassurance. I kissed him back, trying to let the omega in my arms know that I wasn’t rejecting him.
But if I wasn’t alpha enough for Grif, I certainly wasn’t enough for him.
Grif stood at my back, arms around the both of us. I found myself in a hot hockey sandwich, as both of them took turns kissing me. My toes curled and I very much wanted Dean to unzip my dress and Grif to carry me back into the bedroom.
“If you won’t stay, at least let me drive you home. Please?” Grif cupped my cheek with his hand when our kisses broke off.
“I’d like that.” I let him help me off the stool. Grabbing my crutch, I put on my shoes while he got dressed.
Dean still looked heartbroken, but staying wasn’t an option. I also couldn’t get AJ’s words out of my head.You owe me three cows.Not to mention Jonas’ ultimatum.
Was it even worth it? Should I even try? Life wasn’t a fairytale.
Dressed in sweats, he took my hand as we got into the elevator.
“Good night, Dean.” I waved as the doors closed.
Grif held me to him. “Promise me that wasnota goodbye kiss. Tell me that we will work this out together.”
I flinched. That meant he believed we had something to work out.
We did.
“Hey, none of that.” Grif peppered my face with little kisses. “I think you’re perfect for me. Would I like to see you more comfortable in your own skin? Yes. But I also know that’s a product of your upbringing, and it’ll take some time.”
