Page 48 of Finding the Forward: Part One
“Like the team doc?” I frowned and hugged him tighter.
Grif didn’t have a personal physician and carefully cultivated anI don’t like doctorspersona. One wrong test, one inquisitive doctor, could reveal that he wasn’t a beta.
“The special doc Dean found for me that sees hidden omegas and helps them get legal blockers and suppressants.” He made a face and took another pull from the bottle.
Oh right. Considering the issues Grif had over the years with illegal blockers, I considered it a good risk.
“Didn’t you already see her over the summer and get your prescriptions? Let’s eat, and you can tell me about it.” Letting go of him, I brought the food over to the puzzle-free side of the table.
Grif opened the box and snatched an empanada off the top. “I had to go in for a refill and got forced into a checkup.”
That would be the white bag. I got plates, silverware, and glasses of water and put them on the table. “Didn’t you get a refill recently?”
“I’ve been going through them faster than they think I should.” He sighed and polished the empanada off in a couple of bites.
“Grif.”Concern etched my voice. Part of the argument of using legal blockers was getting something tailored to his size instead of him taking three or four of the ones he bought illegally.
Not to mention, the illegal ones weren’t always pure. Back when we were with the Tsunamis, he’d gotten a bad batch. That’s how I’d learned his secret—he needed my help and trusted me.
“What if they don’t work? You know what will happen if people find out. My career will be over, and I’m not ready.” Pain colored his voice, and it wrenched my heart.
“I know.” As someone whose hockey career ended too soon, I understood.
He took another from the box. “I know I shouldn’t take more than the recommended dosage, but the risks...”
“Maybe carry a backup?” I fought the urge to haul him on the couch and cuddle him until he wasn’t sad anymore.
Another reason I was against Airplane Girl. She was analpha. Grif and I had been waiting because he didn’t want to deal with his omega. Alphas could wake up omegas. While it was bound to happen eventually, it was the double standard that got me.
I longed to be his alpha with the very fiber of my being. We weren’t soulmates, but he wasthe one. Mine.
“They made me do some tests, and they’re worried about my kidneys.” He finished off another empanada.
“They were worried about your kidneys years ago.” I took a bite of mine. He was lucky that overdosing didn’t make it so he could never take them again.
Or die.
That day I’d walked into his place to surprise him only to discover he’d overdosed on blockers, I’d been so scared for him I’d nearly saidfuck itto his secret.
“They want to do more tests. She also wants me to go without them in the off-season. If anyone knew I went into heat, or got a whiff of perfume, it could ruin everything. Not to mention thelast time I tried was a painful disaster.” Grif winced, getting all worked up. His eyes pleaded with me as his scent soured.
You being with her could do the same thing.Why didn’t he see it?
But she made him happy. Me bringing it up made me the tool that didn’t want him to be happy.
I wanted him to be happy. Withme.
“I know. But your health is worth it. Best-case scenario, nothing happens and we know you don’t need to be as diligent. Worst-case scenario, we hole up in the cabin and I work remotely for a couple of months and just drive back when necessary for meetings.” Nuzzling his neck, I inhaled his soothing rain scent.
Dean’s grandparents had given him a lovely little cabin in the mountains. We spent a bulk of the off-season there, and where we went for Dean’s heats.
“I don’t know. I’d still have to train in the off-season. Someone might figure it out.” Grif leaned into me, eyes closing.
“It’s a lot to think about. I’m here and you have options. I’ll support you in whatever you decide.” Stroking his hair, I purred to calm him down. He didn’t fit on my lap the way some tiny delicate omega would, but I didn’t want one of those.
“Thank you. I miss this so much.” Grif sighed, as the tension drained out of his body.
“I do too. Hey, I’mhere.You need a hug? I’m here. You want to talk? I’m here. You just want to exist together? I’m here. Promise. We could always watch a movie instead of putting together a puzzle?” I wanted to snuggle with him.
