Page 104 of By the Sword
‘Maybe not right now,’ Kate said, ‘but memories fade.’ She paused. ‘There is another alternative. Take me with you.’
The poignant echo of Mary’s pleas took Jonathan’s breath.
‘Would you leave Tom and your home and your family to follow me? Spend your life wondering where your next meal is coming from or where you will sleep the night? Dearest, that would kill our love surer than anything that has come between us before.’ He took her hands and turned them over, kissing the palms. ‘I will untie this hellish knot that is my life. I promise. Will you wait for me, Kate?’
She nodded. ‘There will never be anyone else, Jonathan,’ she said. ‘I will wait for you, even if you find me stiff with rheumatics, making clothes for my grandchildren, I’ll be waiting for you.’
He smiled at the thought. ‘Picture us, my dearest, hobbling down the aisle together, exchanging recipes for rheumatic ointments at the altar.’
Kate leaned her head against him, laughing, and he wrapped his arms around her. They had to laugh, seize what happiness they could, to live only for this precious moment because to contemplate what was to come would be too painful.
Chapter 36
Kate woke to the gentle touch of lips on her forehead. She opened her eyes and looked up at the man she loved. He smiled down at her and bent his head to kiss her.
‘Good morning, Mistress Ashley,’ he whispered.
‘Good morning, Sir Jonathan.’ She smiled sleepily. ‘What are you looking at?’
‘You,’ he said. ‘I want to remember you like this.’
Memory jolted her into the present and she felt the pricking of tears behind her eyes. ‘Today…’ she said, unable to complete the sentence. Today he was leaving her.
‘Shhh.’ He kissed her again.
She reached up and her arms circled his neck, pulling him down towards her and they clung to each other as if relinquishing the bond between them would mark the irretrievable separation that had to occur.
So many words crowded Kate’s mind, words of love and loneliness, hope and despair, but they would all remain unsaid.Everything they had to say to each other passed silently between them.
Jonathan kissed her hair and pulled away from her embrace.
‘Dearest,’ he said, ‘it’s time. I must be away.’
She nodded in bleak agreement. Any protest would be pointless. He had to go and she had to let him go. Another farewell; too many farewells.
He sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, and she knelt up behind him, wrapping her arms around his well-muscled shoulders, nuzzling his ear.
‘Kate,’ he protested. ‘I have to get dressed.’ He grabbed one of her hands and put it to his lips. ‘Who would ever guess you were such a wanton,’ he said, extricating himself from her arms.
She lay back on the bed and watched him dress, trying to hold this memory of him.
‘Where will you go?’ she asked at last.
He paused in lacing his shirt. ‘London,’ he said, ‘and from there, the Hague. I will send word as soon as I reach safety. What about you?’ he asked.
‘As soon as Giles can travel, we will go north to Barton for the winter,’ she said. ‘Suzanne is with child again and I would like to be with her.’
‘With child again?’ Jonathan shook his head. ‘I swear William must only have to take his boots off.’
Kate’s hand moved involuntarily to her flat stomach, and she bit her lip, wondering if she may be carrying his child. While the thought filled her with dread, a small part of her cried out to have his child, to hold a part of him with her always.
The family gathered in the courtyard to see Jonathan on his way: Giles, still leaning heavily on a stick, stood beside Nell who held little Ann by the hand, and Kate, determined to hold herself together for the sake of the others and the servants who gathered in the doorway.
Jonathan gathered up the reins of Nell’s old saddle horse that he was taking in exchange for Amber. Kate had told him to sell the horse in London, as it would give him sufficient money for a fare to the continent and a start to life as an exile.
‘Wait.’ Tom ran into the courtyard, clutching a filthy rag in an equally filthy hand.
Kate looked at her son with distaste. ‘What do you have there, Tom?’
