Page 115 of By the Sword
‘Of course you are, dear boy. Don’t forget, of all your family, I pride myself that I probably know you the best.’
Jonathan patted her hand affectionately. ‘You flatter yourself, Aunt. It has been ten years.’
‘And you think you’re so very different?’
He looked at her with a half smile. ‘I thought I was. I have lived a hundred years in the last ten…seen things…done things, no man should ever do.’
Henrietta shook her head. ‘Not a day goes by when I don’t think of my own dear boy–but enough of yesterday. Now you have slept on your problems, have you any thoughts as to what you are going to do with your daughter?’
They stopped on the terrace to watch Tabitha throwing a stick for the dog.
He shrugged. ‘What can I do? I have no choice but to take her with me to Holland, Aunt. I can’t send her to Seven Ways at the moment. Her great-grandmother will probably look for her there and Kate–Kate has responsibility enough without another mouth to feed.’
‘Does she know about the child?’
He shook his head.
‘I see,’ Henrietta pressed her lips together. ‘Jon, be sensible, you’ve not a penny to your name. How can you possibly expect to give the child a decent home in Holland or France?’
She had asked the question that he had been turning over and over for the last two days. He hefted a heartfelt sigh. ‘I don’t know, Aunt Hen. God help me, I do not know.’
Henrietta stopped and took both his hands, forcing him to look at her. ‘Jonathan, please don’t take this the wrong way, but Nathaniel and I lay awake for hours talking last night and we both agree.’ Her gaze held his. ‘Jon, leave her with us. She can stay here until you have an alternative to offer her, whether that is with Kate Ashley or…’, she shrugged, ‘…something else.’
She had given him the answer, the perfect answer. The Freemans were offering Tabitha a much needed sanctuary. More than that, she would have for the first time a loving, comfortable home. Perfect except for one thing–he would not share it.
A physical pain wrapped around his chest and he looked away.
Henrietta mistook his hesitation and squeezed his hands. ‘Jon, you must see that it is the only solution until you have sorted out your life.’
He forced a smile. ‘You’re right, Hen, and I thank you both for the offer. It’s one I cannot refuse but how can I tell her?’
Before Henrietta could reply, they were interrupted by Tabitha herself, flying across the grass, her skirts billowing out.
‘Father, father, come and see, there are ducks.’
Father. How could one simple word carry a world of meaning?
He bent to gather her in his arms as she flew toward him.
How can I leave her when I have only just found her?
Henrietta excused herself, leaving Jonathan alone with this daughter he hardly knew. They admired the ducks and he swung Tabitha onto his shoulders as he walked slowly back to the house.
‘Do you like this house, kitten?’ he asked.
‘Oh yes, it’s lovely,’ she said. ‘Is it yours?’
He set her down on a low garden wall and sat down beside her. ‘It’s not my house, Tabitha. I don’t have a home,’ he admitted.
‘Nowhere?’
‘My family lives in a lovely old house called Seven Ways. A long way from here.’
She frowned. ‘That’s a funny name.’
He smiled. ‘It’s a funny house.’
Tabitha swung her legs, kicking her heels against the wall. ‘Do I..?’ she began. ‘Do you have any other boys or girls?’
