Page 212 of Feathers in the Wind
With a last suspicious glance at me, she said, ‘Come. Let us go and wave to Papa and the brave soldiers.’
Dame Alice and I were alone in the great hall.
I could contain my tears no more and and Dame Alice laid a hand on my shoulder. ‘Come to my stillroom. You and I must talk.’
In the privacy of Dame Alice’s lair, I slumped onto a low stool and buried my head in my hands, the tears flowing between my fingers.
‘Save your tears, Mistress Shepherd. They will not be necessary,’ Dame Alice said.
I looked up at her. ‘What do you mean? Nat isn’t going to die today?’
‘This has never been about Nathaniel,’ she said. ‘You have confirmed what we have long suspected. Christian will not survive his childhood.’ Her chin came up. ‘Children die. That is a fact of our life, Mistress Shepherd, but in your time he can be saved. That is what you told Nathaniel. Am I right?’
I nodded.
‘I have the gift of foresight, Mistress Shepherd. I had seen Nathaniel’s fate so we agreed that, when the time was right, I would send him forward to find the cure for his son.’
I blinked. ‘And if he didn’t, or couldn’t, come back, then what?’
She shrugged. ‘A victim of our terrible war. But he did come back and he brought you with him. This is meant to be, Mistress Shepherd. I can send you back to your time but I ask you to take the boy with you.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I understand the enormity of the boon. We are asking you to love Nathaniel’s son as if he were your own.’
‘But...but...’ My protests died on my lips as understanding dawned. If I refused then Christian would die and Nat’s death would be in vain. If I agreed then I stood a good chance of saving the child’s life and the memory of Nat would live on in his son.
‘What do I have to do?’
‘In the stable, there is a horse saddled and ready for you. We have told Christian’s nurse that the child will leave with you and she has packed a bag for him. She thinks you are taking him to London.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘To Chesham.’
‘Chesham? But…’ Chesham was the last place on this earth I wanted to go, today of all days. ‘No, I can’t. I don’t want to see Nat... I can’t…’
I couldn’t watch my lover die. The tears back began to trickle down my face again.
Dame Alice raised her hand to still my protests. ‘For an intelligent woman, Mistress Shepherd, you can be remarkably dull. I am giving you a chance to save two lives.’
I dashed at my damp face with the sleeve of my gown. ‘You mean Nat? How?’
She shook her head. ‘That is up to you.’ She smiled. ‘I assume you can ride a horse?’
‘Yes,’ I replied with a quaver of uncertainty in my voice.
‘Then, go. They are waiting for you at the stable.’
As I turned to leave, she said, ‘One last thing, Mistress Shepherd. Nathaniel does not expect you to support his child without his assistance.’
‘I have money.’
‘Jessica, he is a proud man. How long do you think he will accept your charity?’
‘It won’t be charity.’
She shook her head. ‘No. Nathaniel and I have discussed the matter and we will make provision for the child.’
