Page 43 of A Recipe for Love
Wow. ‘I haven’t really thought about the actual wedding.’
He picked at some imagined fluff on his sleeve. ‘Me neither.’
‘Except you’ve already picked your outfit.’ It was nice that he’d pictured it. ‘What else did you have in mind?’
‘I don’t know. When you said we’d do it quickly that sounded great, but then we came back to Lowbridge, and you said it could be a wedding venue, I thought, why not get married here?’
‘Would keep costs down. We could definitely give ourselves mates’ rates.’
‘I would have thought so.’
‘I don’t want a big wedding.’
‘OK.’
‘Like all those blokes you were on the stag with. I don’t want that thing where we have to invite every kid we were at school with and every friend of every family member whether we like them or not.’
He nodded. ‘So who do you want to invite?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, your grandmother?’
‘Of course.’
‘Who else?’
Bella shrugged. Who would she want there to see her promise her life to Adam? She’d been close to lots of people over the years but there always came a point where she moved on, and they moved on. She kept in touch, sporadically, with some of them, when she was in the right part of the world and there was the chance of a lazy afternoon drinking beers on a beach somewhere, but mostly she didn’t just travel light in terms of how she packed her bags. She travelled light through life. ‘I don’t know. A small wedding sounds good though.’
‘What about…’ She could see his hesitation and she knew what the question was going to be. ‘Your parents? You change the subject when they come up.’
‘Don’t have a dad. Well, I do, but don’t know where he is. If he’s still alive even.’ She shrugged. ‘Can’t miss what you never properly had, so no paternal grandparents or aunties and uncles or any of that either.’ She tried to keep her tone light. ‘I miss that bit more I think. Maybe I have a big extended family out there somewhere, but I’m never going to know.’
‘What about your mum?’
‘What aboutyourmum?’ she shot back. It was a cheap reply.
Adam pulled a face. ‘Well, I’ll invite her. I have no idea if she’ll come.’
‘Do you know where she is?’
Adam nodded. ‘The address I’ve got for her is on Shetland. She left because she said she wanted a bigger life, and now she’s even more remote than Lowbridge.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘It is what it is.’
Bella felt herself physically shudder. She hated that phrase. The passive acceptance that things were unchangeable made her feel sick. ‘Has anyone told her about your dad?’
Adam nodded. ‘Well, we’ve tried. No idea if she’s read the messages.’ He rubbed his forehead. ‘I ought to try to call her.’
‘I can do it if you want?’
He shook his head. ‘No. I should.’ He let out a deep sigh. ‘Tomorrow though. What about your mum?’
‘I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since I was about thirteen. She flitted in and out before that and every time she came back I was so excited and she’d have all these stories about what she’d been doing and where she’d been, but…’ This was the part she’d never said out loud before, the part she’d never even fully acknowledged to herself. ‘But I don’t think any of it was true.’ That was still only a half-truth. ‘I know it wasn’t. She’d been in hospital, or in some kind of rehab. Or maybe prison a couple of times. Or just off on a bender.’
‘I’m sorry.’
