Page 72 of Reckless Curves
“Give me a break. What do you want from me?”
“I want time to recover and think. This has all been too much. Do you know what it’s like to think you have cancer—for a second time. I’ve never been able to think too clearly when it comes to you. You overwhelm my senses.”
He sighed and took the chair opposite her not sure he was prepared for what she was about to say.
She licked her lips and he remembered how they felt around his cock. It seemed like a century since he’d last made love to her. God, he wanted her.
“I’m a mess. I’m scared. I do love you. But I also don’t fully trust you. Everything is happening too fast, and when I thought I had cancer again, I pushed you away because I thought you’d leave me anyway.”
He wanted to say he loved her and he’d never leave her, but he let her talk.
“That night we made Connor meant so much. It was more than a one-night-stand to me. I thought we had made a real connection. I finally thought you cared for me, if not loved me a little. For you to sleep with me and not care what Marcus thought, screamed commitment.” She stopped and brushed a lone tear off her cheek. “But then the next morning you left. I knew you had to go back to the circuit, but you simply removed me from your life as if I didn’t exist. You would not take my phone calls or answer my emails. It broke my heart.”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you like that. I was so scared of the feelings you stirred in me. I had the life I’d always wanted, a successful career, and then that night with you turned my life on its head. I didn’t think I was worthy of your love and I didn’t really believe in it. I thought you were a young girl infatuated with her brother’s best friend.”
She smiled through her tears. “I guess that is how I feel now. Can I believe in those three little words from your mouth—‘I love you’? In the back of my mind, all I see is your joy at being a father to Connor. I just happen to be part of that package. When I got sick, I thought once you saw how bad cancer gets, you’d simply take Connor and leave me again. I couldn’t bear that pain again, so I pushed you away first. And I’m so sorry.”
Tom fell from the chair to his knees and crawled to kneel at her feet. He took her hands in his. “I do love you. I love you so much it hurts to be this close and not pull you into my arms and thank God you’re not sick. The idea of losing you terrified me. It may have been Connor that pulled us back to each other, but I swear I’d love you even if he no longer existed.” He placed her hand over his heart. “Feel how fast my heart is beating. It’s beating like that because I’m petrified I’ll lose you. And I don’t know if I could bear that pain.”
“I want to believe you so much.”
He rested his lips on her forehead. “What can I do to convince you?”
“Just give me a little space and time. Let me process everything that’s happened.”
“How much space?”
She smiled and his heart bloomed. “Well, you will only be across the road.”
He sat back on his haunches. “I can do that, although I don’t want to. We’ve wasted so much time already. I guess that’s why I’m so impatient to make you mine.” She simply smiled at him. “Okay, I can do this. I’ll give you your space. Just let me know when you’re ready. I’ll be here waiting with my heart on my sleeve.”
“Thank you.”
He rose to his feet and with a pain lodged in his chest he said, “I’ll go grab a few things and move over the road.”
He’d give her the space she needed, but it felt as if someone had placed broken glass under his skin.
