Page 68 of Need Me
“Ever.”
“Why?”
Robert’s insides shook. “Because I lost a son and I can’t go through thatagain.”
* * *
Stunned,Brooke gasped and gripped the couch cushion as a curious numbing sensation overcame her. At first, she thought that it was some sort of cruel joke, but the agony in Robert’s eyes convinced her that he was deadserious.
She swallowed past the sudden thickness in her throat. “You had a son? You weremarried?”
“I had a son, but I wasn’t married. My college girlfriend, Kelly, got pregnant.” Robert rubbed his hands together with nervous energy. “We got drunk one night and I forgot to wear a condom. I didn’t know that she’d run out of birth control and didn’t refill her prescription. She lied and told me that it wasokay.”
He gave a short, bitter laugh. “Turned out that she was trying to trap me. I would’ve married her, too, but a month after L…” His voice gave out. “A month after Liam was born, she decided that she didn’t want to be a wife and mother. So, there I was, a single father atnineteen.”
Brooke wasn’t surprised that Robert would’ve married out of a sense of duty. What did surprise her was that Robert hadn’t mentioned this before. Why did he never talk about his son? He must have died a while ago now. Kate never mentioned a thing. “That must have been so hard foryou.”
Tears welled in his eyes as a tremulous smile curved his mouth. “You’d think so, but I fell in love with him the moment I first held him. He was the best thing I’d ever done and I never thought of him as amistake.
“A few weeks after Liam was born, Kelly took off. Signed away all her rights to him and disappeared. I never saw her again. I worked my ass off in college. I went to school during the day and worked a part-time job at night and on Saturdays. I spent every Sunday with him and as much time as I could during the week. I didn’t get a lot of sleep, but it was all worthit.”
Brooke smiled a little. “I’m sure you were a wonderfulfather.”
His face reddened, anger flashing in his eyes. “I was. Everything I did was for him. I wanted to give him everything he could ever want or need. But the mountain took him from me. Stole the one thing that mattered most to me inlife.”
Unsure whether to touch Robert, Brooke remained still even though she wanted to comfort him. “Whathappened?”
His breathing grew labored and he plowed a shaky hand through his hair. “The summer after I graduated, I landed a good administrative assistant job with a legal firm in Denver. I really liked it there, but I got tired of the city and I wanted Liam to experiencenature.
“So, I’d take him hiking on Sundays. Just on easy trails. I was still overweight and couldn’t do the harder trails, especially with having Liam along. I wanted to get healthier for his sake, so I started exercising.” His hands clenched. “I wish to God I’d never taken him thatday!”
“Robert, we can’t see the future,” Brookesaid.
Robert went on as though she hadn’t spoken. “I should’ve knownbetter.”
The agony in his voice made Brooke’s chest constrict withsympathy.
“I had to pee so I took Liam behind some bushes so I could go,” Robert said. “He was four and rambunctious. He didn’t want to stay with me. He ran onahead.”
“Children dothat.”
“He got away from me and ran off.” His face turned pink again. “I kept yelling for Liam to come back. I could hear him laughing about something and I tried to see what he was doing but the trees blocked myview.”
He took a deepbreath.
“Anyway, by the time I finished and found him, he was chasing a butterfly back and forth towards the edge of a cliff. He kept jumping for it, getting closer to the drop off. I didn’t bother yelling at him, just started running.” Robert put a hand on his stomach and squeezed it hard. “I cried out but I was too late. He jumped and tripped on a couple of rocks. He fell and slid right over theside.”
“Oh, my God.” Brooke’s lips trembled as she saw it in hermind.
The couch vibrated as Robert shook harder. “I got to the edge and I saw him about twenty feet below me, hanging onto this little tree. It was barely bigger than a twig. I told him to hang on, that Daddy would help him. My cellphone was in the car, so I ran back to get it, and then back tohim.
“The cell reception sucked and I couldn’t get a call out. I didn’t have any rope with me and there weren’t any other trees or anything for me to use to get down to him. I even got a couple of blankets out of the car and tied them and my belt together, but they weren’t long enough. He got tired, and I knew he wasn’t going to be able to hang on much longer.” Robert took off his glasses and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. “He kept screaming for me to help him. I can still hearhim.”
“I did the only thing I could think of; slide down to him. If I could reach him, I could at least shield him with my body while we fell. Somehow, I managed to aim just right and I grabbed him. I hit a couple of boulders on the way down and I couldn’t hang onto him.” A sob burst from him. “We flew in opposite directions. My head cracked against another rock and that was the last thing I knew until I woke up the nextday.”
Brooke cried freely at this point, overcome with empathetic grief for a little boy she’d never met. Her heart shattered for Robert’s horribleloss.
“After the funeral, I found it difficult to go on,” Robert said. “My reason for living was gone and I diedinside.”
