Page 73 of Need Me
Chapter 18
Pullingup to Robert’s house that evening, Brooke smiled when she saw Corky running towards her car, Sketch scurrying after his best friend. She got out and returned the dog’s enthusiastic greeting, hugging and ruffling his ears. Then she picked Sketch up and was treated to little skunkkisses.
Giggling, she headed for the mudroomdoor.
It opened and Robert stepped outside. “What are you doinghere?”
His cold tone startled her. “I came to see how you were. You didn’t answer your phone or mytexts.”
He looked at her dispassionately. “That’s because there’s nothing more to say. It’s over betweenus.”
Brooke felt like someone had hit her in the stomach. “Why? I don’tunderstand.”
He folded his arms over his chest. “Because I’m not changing my mind about having kids and you want them. There is no compromise here. I love you too much to trap you into a childlessmarriage.”
“Don’t I get asay?”
“You might be able to accept my feelings at first, but eventually, you’d come to resent me and it would rip us apart. Let’s just call it quits right now and save ourselves a lot ofpain.”
Dumbstruck, Brooke stared at him. His face was set in grave lines, his gaze flinty and direct. Recovering, she asked, “You loveme?”
He gave a curt nod. “That’s right. I fell in love with you. Head over heels, completely in love with you. I think about you and want you all thetime.”
Brooke stepped towards him, but he backed away. “Loving me is a good thing, Robert. I care about you so much, and I think about you all the time,too.”
“Can you live a life with nochildren?”
Sorrow wrenched her heart. “Robert, can’t we talk aboutthis?”
“What more is there to say? Can you really see yourself married to a man who doesn’t want kids?” Robert asked. “Be honest with me andyourself.”
She hadn’t realized that he had such strong feelings for her. “You love me and you want to marry me? We haven’t been together very long,Robert.”
His expression softened. “I know, but I can’t help how I feel, Brooke. I tried to stop it, told myself how stupid I was being.” His self-deprecating smile tore at her. “I should know not to become attached to any woman because it’ll only end up the sameway.”
Her chest constricted. He was breaking up with her! Robert wasn’t trying to hurt her though. He really thought he was doing the right thing. He was trying to spare her feelings, to release her to find someone else. But she didn’t want to be released. She wanted to be withRobert.
However, searching her heart, she knew that what Robert had said was true. She wanted babies, and he didn’t. How could they stay together when they were at such an immovableimpasse?
This time when she approached him, Robert didn’t back away. Placing her palms on his chest, she gazed into his eyes as hers brimmed with tears. “Robert, you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met and any woman would be so lucky to have you. You don’t want to hear this, but you’re hurting yourself needlessly by denying yourself the opportunity to raise children. I cannot imagine the gut-wrenching pain of losing a child, but all life has risks. I choose to be with you, even though I know you could be called out to a rescue and never come back. But I’d want as much time with you as I couldget.
“I wish there was something I could say or do to make you see that denying yourself a child is cutting you off from one of the greatest joys in this world.” Her lips trembled as she tried to smile. “I hope that one day you find someone who can break through that wall you’ve built around the part of you that made you such an incredible dad. I just wish that woman wasme.”
Tears stood out in his eyes, too. His anguish gouged another hole in her already wounded heart. Rising on tiptoe, Brook pressed a farewell kiss to his lips. Just as he started to respond to her, she broke it and stepped back. “Goodbye,Robert.”
She got in her car, turned around, and headed towards the road. Looking in her rearview mirror, she saw that Robert stood watching her drive away. He looked so forlorn that she almost turned around and went back tohim.
That would be a mistake, she knew. It would only prolong the heartache. Tears streamed down her face and halfway home, she pulled over on the side of the road and broke downcompletely.
* * *
Two weeks later,Brooke sat out on her porch, trying to enjoy the evening breeze while she drank her second glass of wine. Thunder growled in the distance and lightning danced in the approaching stone-gray clouds. Normally, the beauty of a storm uplifted her spirits, but she couldn’t find any joy in the naturalsplendor.
Her world had turned dull with the loss of Robert. Woodenly, she went about her daily routine, performing her job as well as ever, but without her normal vitality. She barely mustered the energy to smile and rarelylaughed.
She wished she could snap out of it. She’d watched her mother mope after a man all her life. She definitely would never do that. She didn’t blame Robert for being truthful. But the heart wants what the heart and she just wished she could have made Robert face his fears. Or that Robert loved her enough totry.
Moving from her chair to the porch steps, she leaned her head on the pillar she sat next to. As she took another sip of wine, a vehicle pulled in her driveway. Her heartbeat leapt into a faster rhythm as hope rose that it was Robert, but her heart sank when she saw that it wasJamal.
