Page 61 of Heal Me
Ric said, “I stopped when I was in college and got a dislocated shoulder. I still had Emily to help through college and I couldn’t do that if I was dead or incapacitated. I just rope now, which isn’t nearly as dangerous.”
Indignation and anger flooded Kate. “Good for you.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe that you’re giving me an ultimatum. I would never think to stop you doing what you love.” I also thought Emily would have mentioned I was in mountain rescue.
“No, I didn’t know about mountain rescue but I knew you climbed. I guess I didn’t understand that what you did was so extreme,” Ric said. “I can’t lose someone again.”
Kate went to him, putting a hand on his chest. “I’m not Lizzie, Ric. I’m not addicted to taking silly risks and I don’t touch drugs well, not ones that aren’t prescribed for me.”
He took her hand and kissed her palm. “You share similarities. Lizzie thrived on danger and I’m wondering if part of the attraction for mountain climbing is the same with you—the thrill of beating the odds. I’m so sorry, Kate, but I’m just not prepared to sit by while you put yourself in danger. I hate to say it, but you have a choice: me or the mountains.”
Agony clawed at Kate, but she wouldn’t let him see it. “What if I demanded that you give up roping? Would you?”
Ric nodded. “If I knew that it really bothered you, yes. Can’t you see my point of view? You have a decision to make, Kate.”
She pounded the counter. “From what Emily and you have told me about Lizzie, I’m nothing like her. How dare you compare me with her? I have never compared you to Phil. That would not be fair.”
“I’m simply being honest.”
“Honest? Or running because things got real?”
Silence.
“Well, you do not get to order me around like I’m some teenager! I feel a calling to help with the rescue group. You’re asking me to change, to cut out a part of me. I didn’t stop driving a car when Phil died. This is no different.”
“To me it is.” He nodded calmly, which only pissed her off more. “I know how hard change can be. I was a good bull rider and I loved it. The excitement of not knowing what was going to happen when I sat on that bull, trying to outsmart it, to anticipate its every move.
“And how thrilling it was when I made it to the bell and heard the roar of the crowd. I know all about needing to feel the rush, but I had responsibilities that were more important than an eight-second joy ride. I’m not asking anything of you that I haven’t done myself, Kate.”
Kate wanted to scream and rail, but she held it together. He was making a good case. If she had a child would she risk life and limb, risk leaving her child motherless, just to climb? Was what Ric was saying right? “And just how long do I have to make this decision?”
Ric said, “I’ll be back next weekend and you can let me know your answer then.”
He put the sandwich makings back while she watched him in silence. Then he came to stand before her and the sorrow in his eyes was almost her undoing. She closed her eyes when he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.
“Be well, Kate.”
Kate’s eyes remained closed as he left the kitchen. She couldn’t bear to see him walk out. She heard him say goodbye to the dogs before the front door opened and shut. Only then did she give in to her grief. Her legs trembled and she sat down at the kitchen table because she was about to collapse. If Ric could walk away so easily, had he ever really loved her?
A numbing disbelief took hold of Kate as she sat there, going over what had just occurred. If you loved someone didn’t you try and support what was important to them? Phil had never asked her to stop. She hated that she compared the two men because they were so different but Phil had loved her. She knew that. Did Ric?
How dare Ric ask her to give up something she loved so much? She felt part of the town and liked helping people. She wanted to think that if she were ever in trouble their were people who would rescue her. But she loved Ric, too. So much that she’d been increasingly fantasizing about a future together with him. But he was asking herself to give up a part of who she was in order to be with him. Could she? Would she?
Angry at the unfairness of her situation, Kate pushed to her feet, grabbed her snack, and headed for the living room. Sitting down, she turned on the TV and put on Hulu. She needed to get caught up on the last season ofGame of Thrones, and watching it would be the perfect way to keep her mind off Ric and his ultimatum.
But ten minutes into the first episode, it became impossible to hold back her heartache, and a sob slipped out. She couldn’t stop the thought that Ric did not love her the way she deserved to be loved and it cut her in two. Cinders scrambled onto the couch and wiggled his way into her lap. Kate hugged his solid little body and let her anguish pour forth.
*****
By Wednesday, Ric desperately needed to get drunk, but he didn’t want to go with anyone from work and he hadn’t made any close friends while he’d been in New York. He didn’t want to get drunk on his own like some loser. He kept going over his words to Kate and the anger on her beautiful face. Was he wrong in wanting her to be safe?
Therefore, he decided to buy a couple of bottles of good scotch and get drunk at home, since all he had at home was beer. He ordered pizza and found a horror movie on Netflix. No way was he watching anything romantic. There was still no word from Kate and he had the sinking feeling that he wasn’t going to hear from her again.
I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her. I let my dick lead me around instead of keeping control of myself.But his feelings went so much deeper than just sex. There was only one thing about Kate that he didn’t like: her need for danger. Too bad that it was a deal breaker for him.
He answered the door when the pizza guy got there and tipped him generously. Settling down again on the couch, he tried to pay attention to the movie, but his mind was too filled with Kate to pay close attention to the plot. For some strange reason, the blood and gore made him even sadder and he turned off the TV.
Needing a distraction, he opened his laptop and brought up Skype. He tapped Emily’s icon and called her.
“Hey, big bro,” she said with a smile. “What’s up?”
