Page 15 of The Allure Of Lord Devlin
He owed her the truth. “I loved once before, and it was a disaster. I’m not sure if my heart is whole enough ever to love. It’s battered and bruised from everything life has thrown at me.”
“But bruises fade away. And I know you can love. You love your family, your sister, brothers and mother.”
He wanted to scream that not all wounds heal properly. He didn’t, or couldn’t, promise something he didn’t really want to do. Love was false. He’d experienced that. Besides, if he fell in love with Dharma, would he try as hard to clear his father of treason?
The night his father had died in the duel, he’d told Devlin to denounce him to society. He wanted Devlin to say his father was guilty. He wanted Devlin to shun him and take society’s side. He wanted Devlin to lie.
All to save his family.
He’d sworn to his father he would never do that, and he’d never stop trying to clear his father of these lies. To this day, Devlin wondered if that's why his father allowed himself to be killed. He was trying to stop Devlin from becoming embroiled in the treason. Devlin’s gut churned as it always did, thinking of his father’s death. It was his fault. He should have foreseen his father’s thoughts and accompanied him to the duel. Instead, he’d galloped off to see Marigold, to reassure her and ask for her support.
What he’d got was her betrayal, and when he returned home, he learned what his father had done. He willingly positioned himself in front of a bullet and allowed it to kill him.
Nothing was more important than avenging his father and clearing the Devlin name—not even Dharma. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t let it be. This was his fault. If he’d just stayed with his father… but he’d put love first. Never again.
“At the moment, my admiration,” he leaned forward and ran his finger down her cheek, “and my desire for you is all I can offer. Anything else? I cannot or will not promise.”
ChapterFour
At least he was honest. Dharma knew he’d loved once before and it had ended in disaster. Lady Marigold Sumner.
She’d learned about Marigold one afternoon two years ago, when she was walking in the park with Rosemary, and they’d spied Lord Devlin in a parked chaise feeding strawberries to a dark-haired exotic, Spanish looking woman.
Dharma watched enthralled as he’d leaned in and licked a drop of juice from the corner of her mouth before, to her surprise, the woman let him slip his tongue right in her mouth. The kiss looked decadent, and she remembered her whole body heating.
The two young girls had gasped in unison before turning and scurrying in the opposite direction. Rosemary had informed her the woman was his latest mistress. A modiste her mother used.
“Why is it your brother has never married?” she’d asked. “He’s attractive in his own way,” she’d reluctantly admitted.
“He had his heart broken by a young lady called Marigold Sumner. She broke off their engagement when father was accused of treason.”
“But that was a few years ago now.”
Rosemary’s smile faded. “I heard him tell Tobin he’d never love again. The pain wasn’t worth it.”
Dharma drew her mind back to the present as Devlin repeated, “I cannot promise anything else. Do you understand?”
She understood. She understood he’d built a fortress around his heart and it would take a special woman to tear it down. Was she special enough? Obviously not, given that until six months ago, he’d barely acknowledge she existed.
“It appears we are at a stalemate. If you could promise to open up and let me in, I would consider letting you court me.” She wanted to try to understand the man behind this façade. The confident face he showed the world hid a myriad of uncertainty and pain, she was sure.
“Let you in?”
“You know, share your thoughts, your dreams, and plans for the future. You must have some?”Can a man’s face go any paler?
“Clearing my father’s name is top of mind.”
“But what do you want when you achieve that?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead. The task of clearing my father’s name may take me a lifetime.”
So this is what she was up against. An all-consuming need to clear his father. “You are a contradiction. Why marry at all then? You have brothers who can marry and beget an heir. Your tin mine is providing funds, isn’t it?”
He took her tiny hand in his rather large one. “The answer is simple. I don’t want you to marry anyone else. I know that’s not fair, but that’s how I feel.”
She smiled at the possessiveness in his tone. Something must be driving those feelings, because he’d barely noticed her before Charlotte’s house party. Something changed between them over that week. It was as if he suddenly noticed she’d grown up.
A spark of hope flared in her chest. What had Charlotte said about not pushing? But she couldn’t resist. “Why shouldn’t I marry someone else?”
