Page 48 of The Seduction of Lord Sin
“Is that why he left you his hunting lodge, Ivy Close, and the money?”
“I like to think so. He probably didn't want the truth to come out. I think he thought I’d find it easier to find a husband with wealth behind me, given everyone thought I was barren. I’m not a stunning beauty like your Mrs. Mason.”
“Who said Mrs. Mason was beautiful?”
“Flora has met her a few times.” So she’d been discussing Mrs. Mason with her friend. He refused to read anything into that. Women were, by nature, gossips when it came to society and relationships.
To many people, Charlotte might not be considered beautiful, but her beauty shone in different ways. “When you smile, you light up the world,” came out of his mouth before he could stop himself. She blushed.
“I must look a mess.” She pushed a wet strand of hair off her face, and he marveled at how unblemished her complexion was. She looked like an angel, with rain droplets hanging off her eyelashes.
“I was lucky to have Dharma and in a way Tobin too, as I didn’t feel so alone.” She hesitated. “Just lonely. Could you imagine being bereft of intimacy? I was a stranger in my marriage.”
He had a wild impulse to roll her under him and show her what she had missed out on, but that wasn’t what she needed. She needed someone who could cherish her and shower her with the love she craved. The love she’d never had all her life.
Could he mend his broken heart enough to give her what she needed and deserved?
Did he want to be that man? A part of him believed he did, but then that little niggle of distrust arose. Was this a game she was playing? But why say she could have children if she couldn’t? She didn’t need to trap a man into marriage for money. Or so she said. It was unusual to leave a woman with such wealth. Her financial situation should be easy enough to find out. He’d send a note off to London when he got back to the house. Devlin needed to know that she could deliver what she promised. But why marry Devlin if you had no money? He was heading to the poorhouse without it.
A part of him realized she had to be telling the truth. The part of him that held the lady in very high regard.
“I can understand why you long for children. Children love you back unconditionally.”
She nodded. “That was why I agreed to marry a man old enough to be my father without complaint. I did not know that some married for love until I observed Flora’s marriage. My sisters would find better prospects with me married to an Earl, and I’d have what I wanted. I could have a child. Someone to love, someone who would love me back.”
“Only you didn’t get that.”
She shook her head, and on another sob added, “And I thought I never would have a child. Clayton could have lived another ten or twenty years. I once prayed that he fell from his horse and died. I’m such an awful person.”
“Not awful. Just human.” Now he understood how the house party had come about. She was desperate—for children, because she thought they would be the only people who would love her. Charlotte deserved far more.
She looked at him, and her tears mingled with the rain. “I think a child is not in the cards for me. This is God’s way of telling me I should be thankful for what I have. That his plan for me doesn’t involve becoming a mother.”
He picked up her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I don’t believe that. You’ll make a wonderful mother.”
“And you’ll make a wonderful father.”
He hoped so. “If I’m as half as good as my father, my children will be lucky.”
“You loved your father? Was your childhood a happy one? Mine was a cold void of nothingness.”
His smile died inside. “My childhood was perfect. My brother was only a year younger than I was and we got into so much mischief. I also have three sisters who happily stuck together, but George… George and I were inseparable.” It surprised him that the mention of George, the memory of George, no longer gutted him like the pain from a dull knife. “Father treated us exactly the same. He played no favorites. They taught George everything about the estate as if he, too, was the eldest son. Perhaps that is why he thought he could share everything that was mine.”
Charlotte immediately understood he was talking about his wife, Arianna. “That is no excuse for his behavior.”
“A part of me wonders if he killed Arianna because he was thinking of me. Of our family. That he suddenly saw that what she did could destroy me. But deep down inside, I know he killed her because he no longer wished to share and she would not give up the title. In death they are united.”
“Perhaps she loved you both. If you were so alike—”
—“We were nothing alike. I would never have bedded my brother’s wife. I would never have coveted what was not mine.” He relaxed his fist. He was coveting what at the moment belonged to Devlin. What did that make him?
“Looking back, I don’t think Arianna was capable of loving anyone but herself. And as for George… You know, the two of them destroyed my confidence in my ability to recognize love. How could my brother have deceived me so? His was the worst betrayal.”
“How can you trust anyone ever again?” She didn’t realize she’d said that out loud.
His eyes narrowed. “I won’t. When I walked into our summer house and found—I found Arianna strangled to death and George’s brains were all over her dress. My world tilted and spun out of control. My first thought was this was a prank they were pulling on me because I’d refused to come on the picnic with them. Estate problems needed my attention. I told them to go without me. Arianna had been feeling unwell with her pregnancy and I thought the fresh air would help.”
“You don’t have to tell me.”
