Page 19 of The Seduction of Lord Sin
“Sometimes I wonder if my parents marrying me to a man old enough to be my father wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to me.” She looked at him. “You must think me silly for holding such a house party.”
“Quite the opposite. You are going after what you want in the most logical of ways. Love is fleeting. Friendship, respect, a merger of sorts, seems the most suitable way to arrange a marriage. What I don’t understand is why you are so desirous to be married again. You are rich and could live as you please.”
Tell him. He shared with you.She wasn’t brave enough. “I am still young. My life gets lonely and will be especially once Dharma marries. All my friends are married, enjoying their own families.”
He nodded. “True. Yet, sometimes being alone hurts less than being with someone.”
She saw the pain in his eyes. “Sometimes life just isn’t fair,” she softly said, as if to herself.
“True. You’re right. Life is not fair.”
“Is that why you live your life as if no one matters?” At his frown she clarified, “Pleasurable pursuits, playful wagers, scandalous house parties…”
“Perhaps.”
She considered whether she should… but asked anyway, and she didn’t want to look too closely at why. “Many are expecting you to remarry, an heir, you know.”
He pulled his hand free and lay down, covering his face with his hands. “Iwillmarry as I do require an heir.”
“But it will be an arrangement such as I am making,” Charlotte stated sadly. She could see that he would guard his heart after his wife’s betrayal—with his brother.
“Yes. I have a widow in mind, a Mrs. Mason. She has two children, so I know I should get my heir.”
Was that him telling her he was not interested in her hand because society views her as barren? Then why was he playing this game?
Tell him the truth.
However, as she watched the emotions playing across his face, of one thing she was certain. She’d been married to a man who loved a ghost and she would never do it again. Lord Sinclair loved his wife. She’d betrayed him and he was adamant he would not go there again. Would he ever trust a woman enough to offer her his heart? She didn’t think so.
She deserved to find a match where one day her husband might come to love her.Then why are you conducting this ridiculous house party? Because it’s the only way for me,she acknowledged to herself.
Competing with a beautiful ghost who’d broken his heart was impossible, and the comparison was soul destroying. Lord Sinclair, even if she desired him, was no longer on her list of husbands. If she could, she’d find some way to make him leave.
She should change the subject. The topic was far too personal for an afternoon picnic. She must remember the purpose of this week. “Tell me more about how you met Lord Devlin.”
He folded his arms behind his head and she watched him cross his long legs, stretched out like a treat for her. The forbidden thought popped into her head and made her smile. Thank God he didn’t notice.
“Devlin? I’ve known him since I was two years old. Our fathers were great friends, and we were always visiting each other’s estates. Then, of course, we were at school together. I was a year older, though.”
“I admire you for not abandoning your friendship upon the previous Lord Devlin’s death.” She was referring to the scandal surrounding the family upon the late Lord Devlin’s death, and the reason Devlin was in the position of having to attend her house party. Many of society’s doors were closed to him because of the treason rumor hanging around his father’s neck.
“Devlin is not his father,” he replied forcefully.
Quite right. She was nothing like her father or mother. She was lost for what to say now.
He mistook her silence. “You are hoping for a match with Lord Devlin?”
“What makes you say that?” Charlotte asked curiously.
“You expected him to win the archery contest, and I suspect you thought a private outing would allow you to see if he would agree to a match. It would make this week end much sooner.”
She could hear the words he didn’t say, ‘and be more dignified’. She sipped her tea.Perceptive. “I was quite happy that you won the archery with a little help from Dharma. It stopped me from doing something silly. I have some pride.” At his raised eyebrow, she added, “If he wanted to marry me, he would have asked by now. I’d be selfish to push the match when his heart is not in it, but I would marry him if he asked. I don’t want his family to lose everything.”
“You don’t think he’ll ask you?”
“I didn’t say that. He will do his duty if it comes to it.”
Sin reached for a scone. “He’d make you a fine husband. He’s a good man.”
