Page 11 of To Tempt A Highland Duke
He nodded. “I am going to become betrothed at the King’s dinner. In fact, I’m hoping to announceourengagement.”
Chapter 5
He didn’t get the response he’d expected. Her face drained of color and she tried to clamber off his lap, but he held her tightly as she squirmed in his arms, trying to get away. Finally, she calmed.
“Is this some kind of cruel joke to you?” She said, her eyes welling with unshed tears.
He took both of her hands in his. “No. I am deadly serious. I have been thinking of this for nine long months and it keeps coming back to you.” He didn’t bother to say, it only came back to her since he heard her say she was barren.
He pressed on. “There is no doubting my desire for you. I have loved you for years, be it from afar. You are from one of Scotland’s best families. You are my best friend’s sister and it would align our families. We know each other—we are friends—well, I’d like to think we are. You like Connor and he likes you. We could make this work.”
“Work? I begged you eight years ago to marry me and you watched as I married another. You didn’t love me then, and you don’t love me now. This is too sudden. What are you up to?”
As she poured out her words, tears flowed down her cheeks, and it almost broke his heart.
“Not true. I have always loved you. That is why I set you free.”
“Free. I wasn’t free. Do you know how much I dreamed of becoming your wife? But that was a time gone by, before you had finished grieving for Connie. Before my father could not wait any longer and gave me to Iain.”
He swallowed back a curse. “I have not married before this because you are still in my heart, but I did not approach you because I was scared you would not forgive me for walking away all those years ago. It has suddenly come to my attention that if I don’t ask you, I may never know your answer and I may lose the opportunity forever.”
She looked over his shoulder as if staring at a ghost. “I swore my next marriage would be for love. I have had a marriage without love and it was very lonely. I’m not sure I could endure another. It would break my heart to be merely a token wife. If you took mistresses…”
“Why do you think I am being so particular? I vowed that when I marry I shall be true to my wedding vows. If you say yes, there will be no other women in my bed ever again.”
“Why now? Why tonight?”
He would fight with whatever he had to make her say yes. “Marrying you has always been something I thought was unattainable, especially after you married Iain. Almost instantly, I realized what a fool I had been. Now you are free,—”
—“I’ve been ‘free’ as you put it for three years. You are not being truthful.”
“Look at me.” She stared into his eyes. “If I have to marry, I only want to marry you. I love you.” That was not a lie. “You have always been my fantasy.”
“Fantasy,” she cried out. “This idea to wed meispure fantasy.” Her eyes narrowed. “The King is forcing a marriage and I’m convenient. You think I’ll say yes because of our past.”
“No. Think about it. I’m a duke, a wealthy duke. I could walk out this door and be engaged in mere minutes if that is all I wanted.”
She shuddered but did not deny his boast. “It’s likely I can’t have children. The King wants you wed to beget an heir. I can’t give that to you. What will the King say to such a match?”
He would ensure the King did not learn of her situation until it was too late.“I shall tell him that any woman I select may not be able to have children. It’s in God’s hands.”
She shook her head, tears still falling. “But I was married for five years. I lost two babes and then had no more. The odds are against me.” She pushed him hard, trying to escape his hold. “No. I cannot marry you. I won’t do that to you.”
He tried to stop the stab of jealousy her words about sharing Iain’s bed created. “Then I will never marry. It’s you or no one.” How ironic. The very reason it was safe to give her his heart was the reason she used to decline his proposal.
She stopped struggling. “Don’t be ridiculous. You have to marry. You have to have an heir.”
“I have cousins. Many, many cousins.”
Her shoulders slumped. “You would defy the King? Why? Why are you doing this to me? Why does it have to be me? Tell me why and I might listen?”
Angus had said she would want honesty. Could he voice his fears? He’d never said this to another living sole. “I have loved you for years. I wanted to wed you. I truly did. It killed me to see you marry Iain, but I did it for you. I did it to protect you.”
“Protect me? Who from? Your father? He wanted the match.”
“To protect you from the fate that Connie met.”
She sat blinking at him as if he was an idiot. Then her mouth formed a perfect O. “Childbirth. You were protecting me from dying in childbirth.” Her eyes welled with tears as she cupped his chin. “Oh, Dougray. Not all women die in childbirth. I’m healthy. You’d have the best physicians attend me. I’d never have to face what Connie did, left alone with no help… left alone to die.”
