Page 14 of To Tempt A Highland Duke
She let the tears fall once again. “He gave me up because he thinks any woman he gets with child will die in childbirth like Connie, and like his mother. He says he let me go to save my life, but now…”
“But now he thinks there is no risk, as you have never fallen enceinte.” She hugged Flora. “I feel sorry for him. He must have lived with this fear and guilt for years. It’s explains some stories I’ve heard about his sexual tendencies.”
“What stories?”
Tessa looked uncomfortable. “Let’s just say that there are many ways to pleasure a man and he is known to vary rarely make love to a woman. He prefers other methods.”
Flora sighed and shook her head. “You are right. I do feel sorry for him. I’m also so angry with him I could—hit him until I’m exhausted. I had to marry Iain because of his fear. But perhaps God has a plan for us and knew we were not suited because he needs an heir, even if he won’t admit it.”
“You don’t know that you can’t have a child with him.” Tessa, ever optimist said.
“I lost two babies before I was two months along, and after the last one the doctor told me there was no hope, and I never fell with child again.”
Tessa’s eyes welled. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you can’t have a child, but you are the best Auntie ever. I blame Dougray’s father. If he had help Connie, none of this might have happened. I can understand the guilt Dougray carries.”
“He must worry about—that is, it must play on his mind every time he lies with a woman. No wonder he wants me… if he thinks I cannot get with child.”
Tessa led her back to the bench, and they sat. “Perhaps you are meant to be his wife. He can finally open his heart and love. And if he really loves you, then it is almost perfect.”
“Except I really can’t have children. What if he loses his fear as he gets older and then he’s stuck married to me?”
Tessa shrugged. “But if he loves you, won’t that be enough? If he gave you up and let you marry another, thinking to save your life, I’d say he loves you a great deal. Would you have been able to be that strong? I doubt I could have walked away from Angus even if I thought he might die. I’m too selfish.”
Flora hadn’t considered that. All she saw was that he had let her go. “Are you saying I should marry Dougray?”
“It’s Glengarry isn’t? Those three young children. But while those children will learn to love you unconditionally, they can’t keep you warm at night. They can’t stir your body, or your heart, or your soul like a husband can. During the day they become your world, but at night your only company will be loneliness. Especially with Glengarry. He’s always been a rake, be it a gentlemanly rake, but a rake all the same.”
Flora nodded at Tessa’s assessment.
“Don’t let pride cloud your thinking. This could be the happy ending you crave. There are plenty of orphans you could raise as your own if you married Dougray.”
“That’s true. I just wish he’d given me more time to decide what to do.”
Tessa smiled. “You don’t need more time to know you still love him.”
She turned and hugged Tessa. “Yes. I still love him. I’ve always loved him.”
“You accuse him of not facing his fears, aren’t you doing the same? You have a chance to find love, grab it with both hands and never let it slip away again, but it looks like you’re too scared to take it.”
“Then best I go inside and face my fears.” She held out her hand and the two women walked back towards the Palace ballroom with determined strides.
* * *
Dougray watchedTessa and Flora reenter the ballroom, and he was relieved to see a smile on her face. He wondered if Tessa might have tried to dissuade her of the match, but it appeared she hadn’t. He wondered if he had Angus to thank for that. Did Angus confide in his wife?
He was about to make his way to her when he saw Lord Glengarry get to her first, bow before her, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. Dougray’s hands curled into fists. How could Flora consider this cretin? He wanted to rip Glengarry’s eyes out for even looking at her. And his smile…It spoke of familiarity and possession, but Flora was his. Would be his.
His feet picked up speed as he made his way to her side, only to see her slip her arm through Glengarry’s and be led to the dance floor. A waltz started up, and he had to count to one hundred to stop himself tearing Flora from Glengarry’s arms as they glided by. He would not lose her a second time. Not to this man. Not to any man.
A delicate hand touched his arm, pulling his gaze away from the dancing couple. “So there is more to this marriage than appeasing a King. You look as though you want to ring Glengarry’s neck.”
At Tessa’s words, his jaw loosened. “He’s not good enough for her.”
“And you are? Please don’t hurt her. She is too good a person to be disappointed again. If you don’t love with her, then set her free. You could have any woman you choose as your wife.”
“I could have any woman, but I choose her. I want her. I love her.” He looked at his best friend’s wife and hoped she understood. “I’m getting closer to five and thirty every day, and I want more in my life, more from my life. I want what you and Angus share. The closeness. I watch you. If he looked at you now from where he stands on the other side of the room you’d know what he was thinking.”
“That’s because he loves me. We complete each other.”
