Page 20 of Invitation to Pleasure
“Daniel, please…”
He remained silent. Too hurt and angry to speak, least he said something he would regret. His first marriage proposal and it had been brushed aside as if it was an offer of a cup of tea. He dressed while Georgiana sat fiddling with the sheets.
She stood wrapping a sheet around her nakedness. “Should we not talk about this?”
“It would appear there is nothing to say. You obviously do not love me the way I love you. What we just shared was special. You filled my soul. As a gentleman my offer of marriage still stands, but if you do not love me as I deserve, then perhaps you are right to decline and we should forget this interlude ever happened.”
With that he gathered his pride and battered heart from the floor and took his leave.
An hour later he helped Georgiana into the carriage and even though darkness had fallen and it was cold, he decided to ride his horse home to clear his head.
But he realized he would never clear Georgiana from his heart and mind. Not with her staying under the same roof. How did he get a woman who didn’t know how to trust, to take a risk and give him her heart? He remembered Rheda’s words and decided that he would not give up. This was just one minor hurdle. Once they both had time to reflect on how marvelous their lovemaking had been, perhaps they could talk.
Only problem was, this had been Georgiana’s first time, and she would have no idea how special their joining had been.
He knew. He would always know. And she would always own his heart. By God he would fight to win her love. He would stay here until she learned to trust him.
Chapter 8
The carriage rideto Hascombe Manor was short, yet it was the longest journey of her life. She had hurt Daniel. A part of her wanted to beg his forgiveness, but was it his pride, or his heart, that she had hurt? They had not known each other long.
These were the moments when her mother’s condition hit her the hardest. She had no one to confide in. No one to help her work out the tangle of emotions, stirring in her heart.
Georgiana didn’t know why she was so surprised at Daniel’s reaction to their lovemaking. He appeared to be an honorable, true gentleman. But looks could be deceiving. It had been her decision to give herself to him. She had instigated the passionate scene in her bedchamber. She could hardly blame him for the misunderstanding.
The cold weather did not stop the heat flushing her body as she remembered how his naked skin felt against hers. That she was attracted to Daniel was not in question. But lust did not mean love. She’d always sworn she’d never fall in love, but the way her heart beat so fast whenever he was near, and the fact she couldn’t wait to have Daniel smile at her in that special way, and the pain she felt at any notion she would never see him again, made her question her vow.
Her mother had thought herself in love but had been fooled. Daniel had no reason to deceive her. Or did he? Her trust was rather large and he did admit his horse stud was still in a growth phase.
Her mind was still swirling and she was lost in a thick fog of angst when she arrived at her new temporary home. As she was helped from the carriage she noted there was no sign of Daniel. Instead, Rheda stood at the entrance wrapped in a thick cloak. Rheda beckoned her up and waited for her to reach the door.
They linked arms as Rheda led her to the drawing room where there was a roaring fire in the grate. “Your mother has settled nicely. She has the rooms on the top floor on the east wing. It has a lovely decked parapet where she can get fresh air whenever she wishes. It cannot be seen from below.”
Georgiana sank into a chair by the fire, and let the flames warm her chilled bones. “Thank you. I’m sorry to be such a bother on Christmas Eve.”
“It’s no bother. The children are excited to have you here, probably because they know it means more presents.”
That made Georgiana smile. Clarity hit like a hurricane. Without love, without trust she would never have a family. If she could never bring herself to marry—she would never have a child out of wedlock. That would not be fair to the child. She wanted children.
A tear leaked and slowly slipped down her face. She quickly wiped it away but not quick enough. Rheda approached and sank to her knees at her feet, taking her hand in hers. Georgiana was ashamed. “I’m sorry. My worries are nothing compared to yours.”
“Daniel told you about my condition? I have faith that all will be well. And if not—well, I have so much love to help me face what must come.”
Georgiana took her opportunity. “Daniel didn’t reveal much about your life before your marriage, but he mentioned you’d worked to save Tumbury Cliff Manor on your own.” She blurted out, “What made you marry Rufus?”
Rheda smiled. “Why love of course. I was a smuggler.” She halted at Georgiana’s gasp. “Rufus was sent by the crown to capture a smuggler they thought was spying for Napoleon. It was not me, but it was more like fear at first sight,” she laughed.
“So what made you trust Lord Hascombe?”
Rheda patted her hand. “I see. This is about your feelings for Daniel. You want to know if he is a man who can be trusted. A man who won’t steal your heart for his own means.”
She sat forward. “Exactly. How do I trust my heart?”
Rheda rose and took the chair next to hers. She sat quietly for a moment staring into the flames. “Not trusting almost cost me my life. It’s a long and lonely life if you cannot trust those around you. But, you have to place your trust in the right people, and the only way to do that is to listen to your inner voice. To have confidence in your decisions, and the courage to face the mistakes you make. Your instincts normally tell you the truth. However, sometimes people choose not to listen to themselves.”
Georgiana’s inner voice seemed to be mute. “That sounds too simple. Look at my mother.”
“Your mother was warned by your father about her choice in husband. Your Grandfather was a man who loved his daughter, and if he really thought Lord Wentworth had loved your mother he would never have objected. I suspect your mother knew that. I suspect her inner voice told her she was making a mistake, but she choose to ignore it. Why? Only she knows that.”
