Page 62 of A Dream of Redemption
“Will we have enough room for all of them?” she asked.
“We will find room, don’t you worry.”
Her brother surprised and pleased her further by adding, “If there is not enough room and you need time to find places for them, there would be room for some at my house and I’m sure His Grace and the other Libertine Scholars would also offer accommodation.”
“It is very kind, your lordship. I will let Mr. Brown know.” Clary then locked eyes with her before saying, “If you’ll excuse me I need to go and help.”
She sat watching him walk away toward Simon. She wasn’t sure what Clary had been trying to convey in the look, but she hoped it wasn’t goodbye. As Sebastian took a seat next to her in the carriage and they began their journey home, she wondered if things between her and her brother would ever be the same.
She had learned about Clary’s past, the dark secret that he’d been carrying around. She knew it should matter to her, but it really didn’t. It didn’t change how she perceived him. A life he led before had been dead and buried for five years. It was not the life he led now. There was no forgiveness needed, not by her. Having seen what survival meant for people, and having been held captive by Glover, she knew deep in her heart that it was the human condition to do anything to survive.
How did the saying go—only the strong survived? She could well believe it.
What concerned her though was that Clary had not forgiven himself. He still carried the weight of the shame, and it kept him prisoner. The only person with the key to set him free was himself. And she hoped she could help him find the courage to seek his freedom.
Chapter 18
It was late in the afternoon by the time she woke. The first thing she asked was if there had been word from Clary. Beatrice quite rightly explained that Clary was probably still resting. It had taken them well into the morning to house all the children.
Sebastian was surprisingly absent from the house. Apparently he, along with the other Libertine Scholars, was cleaning up the mess at the warehouse.
Luckily the family had been able to keep the details of Helen’s abduction secret. No one was any the wiser thanks to the fact they’d had a family dinner the night previous. There would be no scandal.
Too tired to attend any entertainments tonight, and too worried about Clary, Helen found herself curled up with a book in the library. She wanted to finishPersuasion,the book that she had started to read to Clary when he was injured.
The hero Wentworth was beginning to annoy Helen because it seemed he would not fight for his love. He loved Anne, but appeared to be cowardly. He wouldn’t risk all and declare his feelings.
Helen closed the book on a sigh. Would Clary ever have the courage or the will to fight for her, to fight for their love? What petrified her was that she would know the answer to that question in the coming days. If he did not come to call, if he did not have the courage to defy her brother, then perhaps he did not love her enough.
Helen called for a light supper and sat eating it by the fire in the library. She looked down at her hand. Thank goodness she had to wear gloves in public for she had a nasty bruise and cuts on her knuckles from hitting Glover. Her injury to her hand and her pride were a small price to pay for what he had done to her and the children.
Tonight Beatrice had left her to her own company and she was grateful. Helen needed to think. She tried not to remember the horror of being Glover’s captive, but when she closed her eyes, she saw his stained teeth and smelled his bad breath. Would she ever forget him? She understood why it was so hard for Clary to forget. She’d been captive for hours, he for years.
Sebastian arrived home, and she called out to him as she heard him walking past the open door. “Have you any news?” When her brother entered the library the first thing she noted was he looked absolutely exhausted. “Have you slept at all?”
He flopped down on the chair next to her. “Don’t you start. Beatrice has just ordered a bath for me and then I’m to go to bed. I had a few hours’ sleep this morning that’s all.”
“I won’t keep you then. I just need to know that the children have all been taken care of.”
“Your Mr. Homeward and his men saw to the children. He then helped me track down Thompson, my warehouse manager. I’ve handed him over to the magistrate. I’ve also rallied some of my men to start investigating the warehouses around us, and I’m getting one of them to study the shipping profiles of some of my competitors. If we find evidence of this trade continuing we will shut it down and alert the authorities.”
Her eyes welled with tears of gratitude. “I know you think it’s hopeless, that we will never stop them, but that is a start. It’s much better to try than just turn a blind eye and do nothing at all.”
He merely nodded.
Do it now.She’d inwardly accused Clary of lacking the courage of his convictions. She took a deep breath and asked, “Are you going to prevent me from seeing Clary?”
Her brother silently stared at her for a moment before answering. “He is not who I would’ve chosen for you.” He gave a harsh bark of laughter. “He’s definitely not who I wanted for you.”
“The heart leads us in many directions and leaves us no choice as to the destination.”
“Do you really understand the life that the two of you will have?”
“I do.” Emotion welled up inside, and she burst into tears. “Are you going to make me choose between my family and Clary?”
“And if I did?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know what I would do,” and the tears fell.
