Page 41 of A Dream of Redemption
Just before they went outside she stopped him. “Thank you for—well for sharing a piece of yourself with me. I will cherish this afternoon forever. I know the risk you take indulging me. I’m hoping that is a sign that when the time comes you’ll fight for me as I will fight for you.”
He pulled her tightly against his chest. “Your happiness and safety mean I will do anything to protect you and your reputation.”
She hugged him tightly understanding his words did not mean he saw a future with her. In all fairness the path to love between them would never run smooth. But she was determined it would run and there was a path.
—
Clary didn’t waste any time showing Helen to her carriage and getting back inside before anyone saw her. It helped that the clouds had rolled in and the looming rain kept most off the street. Still, having her in his home had been a huge risk and could never be repeated.
He’d no sooner closed the front door than he noticed a shadow in the hall.
“I hope you know what you are doing, brother. I could not help but note whose carriage was around the corner as I walked home.”
“I did not expect you home so early. Usually you are not home until well after dark.” Clary moved past his brother, Simon, into the sitting room and poured a brandy before flopping into the high-backed chair by the fire. He was worn out. His side hurt from his fall and emotionally he was drained. For a few hours this afternoon he’d had a slice of his dream. Trouble was he wanted more.
Simon followed, pouring himself a drink and joining him by the fire. “Care to share with me what is going on with Lady Helen?”
“Not really.”
Clary studied his brother. They were so different in looks and personality. He was dark while Simon was fair. Simon was outgoing whereas he was more contained. That painful pang in his chest hit when he looked at his strong brother. Simon had overcome his past and refused to let it color his view on life or stop him reaching for his dream of a better life.
Clary had failed Simon in so many ways. Over the past five years he’d tried to forge a closer relationship with his brother, but his guilt had built a wall that stopped them from having what Marisa and Helen shared. He’d let Simon be abused, and although Simon told him hundreds of times that Clary had kept them both alive, it did not absolve him.
“So there is something going on then.”
Clary cursed himself for falling into his brother’s clever trap but since Simon had begun working for Mr. Henley, he’d become virtually impossible to win an argument with.
“Her ladyship—”
“I’m pretty sure you are past the point of referring to her as her ladyship. The way you screamed her name—”
“That’s enough,” he growled.
Simon laughed then his humor died away. “I know you. You’re too honorable and too worried about losing the life you have carved from the ashes to risk a quick fumble with a lady of breeding.” He paused and took a drink. “That is what worries me. Every way I look at this it ends very badly for you.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” He thought on what Marisa had said to him. She’d basically given him permission to court her sister. But it had come with a warning. A warning he knew could destroy any chance he had of a dream life with Helen, but it could also destroy the life he’d built over the last five years and end Simon’s chances of rising above their past too. Simon was training under one of His Grace’s solicitors, Mr. Henley. If gossip started and His Grace overheard, his and Simon’s world would come crashing down.
“What do you think Her Grace would say?” his brother asked.
Clary looked at Simon and saw worry etched in his eyes. “She gave me her blessing, if you must know. She wants Helen to be happy.”
He saw surprise run across Simon’s face and then the worry returned. “And His Grace? Or her brother?”
Clary simply drunk the rest of his brandy.
“I see. Well, we both know that obtaining your dream is not easy.”
He looked at his little brother. “I swear I will not do anything to destroy your chance at a better life.”
“So you are not going to pursue her then?” Clary could not reply. “If you are thinking of a relationship with Lady Helen, it affects me as well as you. Don’t make promises to me that you cannot keep. However, I don’t think His Grace would be vindictive enough to hurt me because of something you do.”
They sat drinking in silence before Simon asked, “Are you sure of Lady Helen? You know the fickleness of wellborn ladies.”
He remembered what Marisa had said:Helen wants fate to decide for her as fate decided for me.What a romantic notion that was. “I don’t think she knows what she wants.”
“I disagree. She knows what she wants now—you. But what of the future? It’s easy to want something when you don’t have to give up anything in return. Publicly announcing a relationship…What do you think she’ll do when her ‘friends’ bring up your past? When society shuns her…”
Clary’s past had come calling today in the shape of Lord Fairfax. He stood to refill his drink. “She doesn’t know about my past.”
