Page 33 of A Dream of Redemption
“Nothing that I cannot deal with.”
She looked at him and her eyes narrowed. “I love my sister and if there is something that may affect her in any way I would want to know about it.”
He bowed to her. “Of course, Your Grace. It’s just I need to know how to handle telling her about my background. Lady Helen is a curious young lady, and she has been asking questions. I am worried about what details I should or should not share.”
Her Grace nodded thoughtfully. “Why is it you feel you have to be truthful with my sister of all people?”
Damn. He’d forgotten how perceptive Her Grace was.
What was he supposed to say?Because I have feelings for her. Because I ache whenever she’s near.“Because she’s one person I don’t wish to lie to,” came out of his mouth instead.
“I can respect that.” He could see her thinking. “My sister told me only last month that she has given up looking for a husband. She wants fate to decide for her as fate decided for me. She has a romantic notion of fate. We both know that fate is not always romantic. Just be careful.”
His mouth dropped open. “I don’t know what to say.”
Marisa stood and moved to the window and looked down as the carriage pulled up outside. “I love my sister and want her to be happy. You are a good man, Clary; you just have to believe it too.” She sighed and turned to face him. “Others will not think as I do, especially if your background comes to light. In fact, I can tell you that my brother will be adamantly against her marrying anyone who is not titled, but that’s because he is overprotective of her and does not know you like I do.” She moved and took both of his hands in hers. “But you are right. There can be nothing between Helen and you if you do not tell her everything there is about you.”
“You think knowing the truth will change her view of me?”
She shook her head and let go of his hands. “Oh, no. I think it will only lift her esteem of you. You have overcome and survived. She will admire that, as I do.”
He blinked the moisture out of his eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just say you will do nothing to hurt her.”
His mouth firmed. He wanted to say that he’d never do anything to hurt her but a relationship with him would socially destroy her. He merely nodded. He had so much thinking to do.
Once, he’d thought a relationship with the likes of Lady Helen was a dream. Now Her Grace was suggesting it could be a possibility.
Marisa looked out the window. “It never pays to keep a lady waiting.”
“Thank you, Your Grace.” He made his way to the door.
“I do think it’s time you called me Marisa.”
He stopped at the door and looked over his shoulder. “Thank you, Marisa,” and he almost glided on air out of her study.
—
During the ride to the park he tried to process Marisa’s blessing. His brain was whirling with possibilities and hope, and for once he let himself drink in the beautiful woman beside him. The sight of her fair curls popping out from under her cute but ugly bonnet, her supple figure and soft curves called to him but he would behave like the gentleman she thought he was.
Emotions crashed over and through him, making him want to gnash his teeth. Was he being foolish in his desire for her? He would never dishonor her by taking her innocence without matrimony. What did she really want from him—sex or matrimony?
Was he just a big adventure to her? His euphoria dampened. No. She was not like other women he knew. She wasn’t after just sex. The rub was he couldn’t decide which. How could she even know what it was she wanted?
He didn’t want to diminish this feeling by having to disclose his past but Marisa was right, if they were to try and see if there could be more between them he had to be honest.
“You haven’t heard anything I’ve been saying have you?”
He smiled down at her piqued face. “No. I have simply been drinking in your beauty.” He saw the frown cross Mary’s face. The lady’s maid was along as chaperone.
Helen was flustered for but a moment and then she beamed a smile. “It would seem our outing agrees with you.”
She was still beaming when he helped her from the carriage. The sun was warm on his face, and he was determined to enjoy the escape from his study. He would discuss his upbringing later. Not today. He wanted this one perfect day with her on his arm.
They started their walk with Mary following a few steps behind to afford her mistress some privacy.
“Now, tell me about this clever plan of yours to buy the building next door to the orphanage.”
