Page 4 of A Love to Remember
“I thought I’d take Drake and Henry fishing tomorrow,” Philip said, breaking into her thoughts.
She wanted to hug him. Only a moment ago she’d wondered if he resented her son. “They would love that. Thank you.”
“You are never too young to learn how to catch salmon.” He narrowed his eyes and his mouth curved in a smile. “Just watching them jumping out of the water…I still remember my first fishing trip with Father and Robert—” His smile dimmed and he rolled away and onto his back.
Rose had a sudden desire to seize him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him. Two years, and Philip still refused to come to terms with his brother’s death. She used to try and talk to him about it, but he first refused to discuss the subject and then got angry with her for bringing it up. She understood his feelings of guilt that he had survived Waterloo when his brother had not. But Robert had been a grown man who had made his own decisions, and the choice to fight for his country had been one of them.
She reached out, took Philip’s large hand in hers, and squeezed. He didn’t squeeze back. Rose wished she knew where he went inside his head when these moods came upon him.
The silence lengthened, their intimate moment destroyed by Robert’s ghost. A far too frequent occurrence of late.
Finally, Philip disengaged his hand, rose, and, donning a robe, pulled the bell to summon his valet.
“Wilson,” he said when the man entered the room, “please arrange for a bath to be drawn for me in here, and one for Her Grace in her dressing room.”
“Very good, my lord.” Wilson bowed and left.
Rose liked Wilson. The man had been Robert’s valet. After his master’s death he had asked to stay and valet for Philip. He was the soul of discretion and—no matter where he found her—treated her with genuine respect. He certainly accepted her presence here in Philip’s room.
Philip moved round to her side of the large four-poster bed and held a robe out to her.
“Here, my sweet,” he said. “You’re right. We should be ready and waiting for our guests when they arrive. Cook has planned a light supper in the drawing room as I suspect they will be tired from the journey, and Drake will be eager to see you.”
He escorted her to the door linking his master suite to her rooms. Wherever they stayed, he always gave her rooms connecting with his. He never tried to hide her away, or make her feel ashamed that they were lovers.
He pressed a brief kiss on her lips and then gave her a gentle push into her room. “I’ll be in the study when you are ready. Collect me on the way to the drawing room and we’ll greet our guests together. I promise I’ll be out of my sulk by then. Rose”—he hesitated, then continued—“dearest Rose, Iamtruly grateful that you’ve come all the way to Scotland to be with me for these weeks. I have missed you.”
Then he stepped back, letting her close the door.
As she did so, and then called for her maid, Rose inwardly smiled.
I have missed you.
This was why she stayed with him, even while hoping for more. Philip had always owned a piece of her heart. In moments like this he made her feel like the most special woman in the world.
I have missed you.
NotI love you. He’d never said he loved her. But then she’d never talked of love, either. It didn’t matter. He treated her better than many men treated their wives, or mistresses, and actions spoke louder than any words could.
When the bath was drawn and ready Rose slipped into the soothing heated water. How she wished she were not such a coward. She wished she could tell him what was in her heart, but her years of being the person who ended affairs and tried to ensure no one fell in love with her had taught her the signs.
Philip didn’t want her love. He wanted her company, her intelligence, her beauty, and her presence in his bed. That was all.
The truth was that one day he would have to marry. He was, after all, an earl. For a moment, alone in her tub, she wanted to weep. But duchesses didn’t weep over hard truths. All she could hope was that, when Philip chose a wife, he chose her. If he didn’t, she hoped her heart was strong enough to become an impenetrable fortress, or her world would crumble to dust.
Chapter 2
The next morning, before breakfast, Philip took Sebastian, Henry, and Drake to his favorite fishing spot.
After showing the boys what to do—and landing a nice-size salmon in the process—Philip left them on the bank, studying the deep pool with complete concentration, and joined Sebastian on a fallen tree trunk.
Sebastian handed Philip a flask of whisky to ward off the morning chill. Summer days were warm, but near Loch Rannoch the morning could still be cool.
“They won’t be happy unless their catch rivals yours,” Sebastian said.
“I hope it does.” Philip glanced around, enjoying the morning and the boys’ enthusiasm. “It seems like only yesterday I was here fishing with Father.”And Robert. But he couldn’t bring himself to say his brother’s name.
Sebastian leaned back with a sigh. “I must admit I can’t wait to take my son fishing. However, if Beatrice has her way I’ll be taking his older sister along, too. So much for a quiet masculine pursuit.”
