Page 25 of A Love to Remember
“A long time ago.” Was there a flash of jealousy in his voice? “Now only a friend.”
“One who needs to marry.”
Not jealousy but definitely something. “Perhaps he wants to marry.”
“Wants?” Philip threw back his head and laughed. “Hardly. He’s in dun territory. He was thrown out of France because of his gambling debts. Even your brother has despaired of him.”
Rose wished she could slap him for his heartlessness. As for Tremain…She fumed at the man’s colossal ego. No wonder he was pleased that she was considering a second marriage. Did he really think he stood a chance with her? She’d take care to nip that delusion in the bud immediately.
“Well,” she said as carelessly as she could manage, “at least something good has come from tonight. Thank you for the warning. I can cross a second man off my list of potential husbands. However”— she eyed him thoughtfully—“if you plan to catalog the flaws of every man I happen to have on my arm in the future I shall find you extremely tedious.” A muscle worked in his jaw. “If women did not overlook a few faults in a man, none would ever take a husband.”
“So you really do mean to marry.”
Had he doubted it? “I thought I made my intentions clear. As clear as you made yours.”
He moved closer. “Perhaps I can make you changeyourmind.” The heat from his body warmed her against the chill of the November night. “I know your body as well as I know my own. You still desire me.”
As he spoke his mouth came closer, closer.
She could have put her hand up to stop him, but she was weak. She closed her eyes to ease the headache now pounding behind them, and breathed in his scent as his lips pressed gently, deliciously, to hers. When she opened for him, denying him nothing, she was pulled into strong arms and held against a hard body as his mouth consumed her.
Any other man and she would have had the strength to push him away, to let go, to move on with her life. But Philip? Philip owned her heart, and her heart was not willing to let him walk away.
The kiss deepened. The cold brick of the wall pressed into her back as he moved into her, as his hands swept down her body, cupping her breasts, and tweaking her hardened nipples. She moaned into his mouth. His hand slid farther down, over her hip, gathering up her skirts.
When he ran his long fingers up her bare thigh above her gartered stockings she widened her stance to give him better access to the part of her that was wet and throbbing with need.
But just as she was about to beg for his touch, he withdrew his hand. Let her skirts fall. Broke the kiss. Stepped back.
She looked around, wildly, thinking he’d stopped because he heard someone approaching. But they were alone in the cold night air. “Why did you stop?”
“Because I’ve proved my point.”
She didn’t understand. “I beg your pardon.”
“And so you should.” He looked into her eyes, jaw tight. “I could have taken you here, up against this wall, and you would not have cared who might have walked out and seen us. How can you think of marrying another when it is my body you crave, my bed you belong in?”
She wanted to slap him—hard. But he spoke the truth. Until she’d purged him from her life, she couldn’t move on. Her bluff had been well and truly called.
“You knew.”
His bared teeth gleamed white in the dimness. “Portia is a terrible conspirator. She came to visit me, and then Grayson mentioned something and I came to a conclusion. This kiss just clarified it. I won’t change my mind about marriage, ever. I will continue our affair if that is what you choose.”
The sadness in his smile almost broke her. “I miss you, Rose. I always will. If you decide to remarry, it might kill me but it will not change my mind.”
The finality in his words told her she’d lost, and in that moment her heart broke.
She did not wish to spend the rest of her life alone or as some man’s mistress. She wanted a husband, a family. She wanted more children—legitimate, acknowledged, and loved.
“I can see your answer in your face,” Philip said. He sounded quiet. Sad. “I will not bother you again, my darling. I shall do my best to avoid engagements you might attend until I return to Devon for Christmas.”
She wanted to wail, to scream that this couldn’t be the end. She closed her eyes to fight the pain and when she opened them he was gone.
Her head pounded and a wave of nausea swept over her. She wanted to go home. Home to Cornwall. Soon it would be Christmas and they always spent Christmas there. She would leave London early on the excuse she wanted to get Drake away from London for the sake of his health.
She would try and make the celebration a happy one for her son.
He was what mattered most.
