Page 53 of A Whisper of Desire
“No. My cover is intact, but I don’t want Marisa going back into that place. She was deeply distressed, not at the male, male, aspect of the night, but there was a young boy…”
Arend cursed. “Bloody Angelo.” Arend sat, softly swearing. “You’ll have to win big in one night, then. Surely we can beg her to go back one more time.”
“That’s not the issue. She wants to go back. Marisa wants to try and save the boy.”
“Christ.” Arend must have pulled hard on the reins, as his horse shied left. “That could ruin everything.” He soothed his black stallion. “It has to be tonight, then, before Angelo returns. Francis is meaner than Angelo, but stupid. Can you break the house on one hand?”
“That depends on how the cards are played. If I sit waiting all night forthehand, it might never eventuate. Besides, the house would also have to keep betting.”
Arend tapped his crop on the saddle. After a moment he said, “Sod the fact that Angelo might catch on to our plan, you have to win and win big tonight.”
Maitland blew out a deep breath. “Good. I don’t want to have to go back again. The more often Marisa goes with me, the more likely she’ll be to concoct some risky plan to save the boy.”
“She’s quite a woman. You owe our enemy thanks for seeing you trapped into marriage with Marisa. It could have been a lot worse.”
Maitland remained silent.
Arend frowned. “It is what you wanted? A few months ago you even suggested to Sebastian that a match would suit you. She’s intelligent, brave, beautiful, and sensual. The marriage aligned two powerful families and she’s your best friend’s sister. What could possibly be wrong?”
Marisa was all those things and more. If it weren’t for his past, if he’d been sired by anyone other than his abomination of a father, he would be ecstatic at having such a sensual and sexual woman as his wife. It wasn’t that Marisa wasn’t right for him. The problem was that he was not good enough for her.
Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face, for Arend sighed. “For Christ’s sake, let the past go. You are not anything like your father, just as the rest of us are not like the men who sired us.”
“It’s easy for you to say, your father knew when behavior crossed the boundaries of decency. My father craved the indecencies.”
“So? You are nothing like him. In fact, most of my life I’ve thought you a prude. In the beginning I understood why, your father.” He moved his horse closer. “However, watching your rigid schedule, your self-denial, I think it’s not healthy for a grown man. One day you just might burst from suppressed needs, and then you might just become him. Grow up and face the truth. You like sex. Every healthy man does. There is nothing wrong with that.”
Maitland couldn’t help the flush he knew was on his heated face. The Libertine Scholars knew of his schedule because he had refused to go carousing with them on certain days. “Leave it, Arend.”
Arend eyed him suspiciously. “It’s Thursday.” He saw the moment Arend comprehended why he was seeking him out so early. “You’re hiding from Marisa. Don’t tell me you’re sticking to that stupid schedule with her—your wife.” Arend looked at him with a mixture of exasperation and disgust. “Have you explained to her why you have this schedule?” He stayed silent. “Of course not,stupide.She’s a sensual woman. I happen to know that she’s been curious about sex for a few years, namely because ofherfamily upbringing and her rakish brother. What must she think?”
A storm brewed in his gut. “My marriage is no concern of yours. And in the future, if you know she’s watching your indecent acts, take them someplace more private.”
Arend laughed. “I didn’t realize she was watching until I’d finished. Knowing me, I would not have stopped even if I had known. It would have made it more exciting.”
Maitland took a swing at his smug face, but Arend simply moved his horse.
“Stay away from my wife.”
Arend moved closer, all smiles gone; instead, his hard, cold eyes drilled into him. “Let me give you a piece of advice. If you keep Marisa out of your bed, you’ll damage her. Her parents’ marriage ran hot and cold, and this behavior of yours is similar. Besides, as an innocent young lady, she will probably think there is something wrong with her if she wants you more than you want her. Don’t be so cruel. Talk to her. Don’t pass your insecurities on to her. You might find she looks to another to prove she’s desirable.” Arend looked directly into his eyes. “And she won’t have to look far.”
Before Maitland could explode, Arend galloped off. Had Arend just threatened him? Threatened to cuckold him if he didn’t keep his wife satisfied?
Torn between galloping after Arend to throttle him or returning home to find Marisa and break his schedule for the first time in more than ten years, he cursed out loud.
Something of what Arend said made sense. The other Libertine Scholars had fathers almost as evil as his. Sebastian’s certainly was as promiscuous, and Sebastian had always enjoyed a robust sex life. Yet Sebastian, the renowned rake, was now happily settled with Beatrice. Sebastian hadn’t let his urges control him.
He knew Sebastian had not even looked at another woman since he fell in love. Perhaps that was the difference. You had to be in love to keep the monsters at bay.
Fear had always stopped him from falling in love because it might make his situation worse. His father seemed to fall into debauchery when Maitland’s mother died. He never knew if it was the devastation of his loss that drove him over the edge or if his dark tastes were simmering in his blood, and only his mother’s love kept them in check.
Since he didn’t know, he’d decided to never succumb to love just in case. Whatever his father’s chains had been, they broke free when Maitland’s mother had died. Was the loss of the greatest love of his father’s life the catalyst that sent him spiraling out of control? If so, love could be his savior and his destructor.
Perhaps it was time he tested himself. He swung Astraea toward Waverly Court, Sebastian’s house. He’d have to confess his fears to Sebastian, and ensure that if he started to act like his father, started to let sex consume him to the detriment of all else, Sebastian would vow to rein him in. The last thing either of them would want was to hurt Marisa.
—
Marisa stood in front of the Duchess of Roxborough’s London abode and took more than a deep breath. It had seemed such a good idea when she’d awoken alone in her bed once again, to go to the only woman she knew well enough to discuss why Maitland, a healthy and robust man, seemed to find her charms lacking.
