Page 87 of Her Whole Heart
“Oh, but Lizzy, you must enjoy being courted,” Amelia said. “He is so frightfully handsome and rather clever. You need a clever husband, I think, to match your own wit.”
“No one is saying anything about marriage, Amelia,” Elizabeth repeated, keenly aware that Jane was sitting next to her and still mourning the loss of Mr. Bingley. She had sent him on his way, and they had not heard from him since.
Elizabeth had expected to hear from him again, even if Jane had not. Still, if Mr. Bingley was truly not man enough to stand up even to his sisters to protect Jane, it was better that he not meet with them again.
“I think he would make Elizabeth a fine husband,” Jane said quietly, “but she must like him.”
Everyone’s eyes turned to Elizabeth, and she held up her hands, palms out. “I am not ready to make any declarations.” If Mr. Darcy made an offer, she would discuss it with him, not all and sundry.
Jane smiled, and Elizabeth shook her head. Her sister always knew what she was thinking. Mr. Darcy was not perfect, but he was honest. In fact, the objections he had stated at Lady Ashford’s ball all those weeks ago now assured her that he had considered her lack of familial connections and still decided in favour of a courtship. He was, at heart, a good man, a thoughtful man, a man she believed would see to her needs as well as her protection. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of them as husband and wife.
That surprised her. She could see them married, which meant that just as he had decided to pursue her, she had decided to trust him.
Could it be so easy?
She cast her mind back over the course of their relationship. Well, perhaps it had not been easy. Perhaps it had just been gradually sneaking up on her. She had been in the middle of learning to trust him before she knew she had begun. His reaction to her story of the fire had sealed it. And if she could trust him . . .
“Lizzy,” Jane inquired, “are you well?”
“I am,” she assured her sister. “Merely thinking of what you said to me the night before we left Longbourn.”
Jane smiled knowingly.
“I am off to the Lords,” Lord Carlisle said, folding his newspaper and setting it down on the table. “Do make sure to rest this afternoon, ladies, as we shall be out very late.”
They all said their farewells to the earl, and Elizabeth wandered back up to her chambers. The nosegay had been placed in a small vase near her bed, and the perfume from the roses filled the air with the promise of spring. The worst of the winter was behind them now.
A quarter of an hour later, Jane knocked softly on the door.
"Lizzy, will you join me?"
They made their way silently back to their sitting room, where Jane closed the door to the hall and turned the key in the lock before nodding at the two wing chairs that were placed before the fire.
“Lizzy,” Jane said quietly, “Mr. Darcy’s attentions have clearly not gone unnoticed.”
“He is not a man to be ignored,” Elizabeth teased.
“Further,” Jane continued as though she had not been interrupted, “I dare say they are not unwelcome.”
Elizabeth sighed and took up some embroidery. “I cannot deny that my feelings for Mr. Darcy have changed, Jane. He has proven himself a faithfulfriend and a man of excellent character. It is only that . . . I find myself trusting him.”
“And this is somehow a problem?” Jane could have laughed at her, but she did not. Her question hung in the air.
Elizabeth sighed and focused on her stitching. “The thought of opening my heart, of trusting him with the rest of my life—I cannot pretend that it is not a little terrifying.”
“I understand your hesitation.” Jane spoke with great empathy. “After enduring the disappointing character of our own parents, our father in particular, it is only natural to guard your heart. But Lizzy, Mr. Darcy is most decidedly not Papa. From all I have seen and heard”—she made a strange face—“fromalmostall I have seen and heard, he is a man of integrity and honour.”
Elizabeth looked up to meet her sister’s gentle gaze. “I think I believe that. I do believe that. The Carlisles speak highly of him, and Georgiana adores him. But the power a husband holds over his wife is absolute.”
“Love in marriage is about trust and partnership. You promised to look for love, just as I did. And I have no doubt that Mr. Darcy would cherish and respect you as his partner. He has shown you that he is willing to listen to your concerns, has he not?”
Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Yes, he has certainly done that. He has also been quite respectful of my wishes.”
“He has,” Jane agreed. “And I dare say, sister, that your heart is already more deeply engaged than you admit. You may not be aware, but when you speak of him, you light up like the gas lamps in Pall Mall, and there is a joy in your voice when you recount your conversations with him. It makes me very happy.”
Elizabeth felt a warmth spreading through her chest. “I cannot deny it, Jane, not to you. My affection for Mr. Darcy grows deeper with each passing day.”
“Dearest,” Jane said, “this might require more bravery than anything you have ever done. But allow yourself to be open to the possibility of happiness. I have faith that if you do, Mr. Darcy will prove himself worthy of your trust and affection. Tonight, allow yourself to simplyfeel. Do not waste what could be a magnificent evening listing every possible disaster thatmightoccur should you allow your heart to lead.”
