Page 2 of Her Whole Heart
Elizabeth wondered whether that particular connection would be of use beyond a place to stay and a chaperone. Amelia had insisted they be invited, which had indeed been very kind, and after meeting Jane and Elizabeth when they stayed with the Gardiners last autumn, Lord and Lady Carlisle had agreed. Being sponsored by an earl and countess alongside their own niece had been an unexpected boon, but living in Carlisle House for the entire season could be difficult if Amelia’s family felt the Bennet girls had been foisted upon them.
Well, that was a matter for tomorrow.
“Jane,” Elizabeth said seriously, “I want us to make a promise to one another.”
“What is it, Lizzy?”
“Promise me that if you cannot find a man you admire and respect, and who admires and respects you in return, that you will not agree to marry. Even if you are asked by the wealthiest man in London. Even if he promises to move Mamma into a palace when Papa dies one day.”
“Of course I will,” Jane replied, with only a slight hesitation. “It is what I hope for. But I must exact the same promise from you.”
This was an easy promise for Elizabeth to make. Other than the Gardiners and Jane, she had been disappointed so very often. Being the object of her father’s resentment and her mother’s ire for the past four years had left its mark. She would be very careful who she wed. “I promise. And yet . . . I must have respect and admiration, but I fear I want something even more.”
“Trust?” Jane asked.
Elizabeth closed her eyes. Jane knew her better than anyone. Sometimes even better than she knew herself.
“I trustyou. And Uncle and Aunt Gardiner.” She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin atop them. “No, though I suppose trust must come first, what I truly want islove.”
“Love,” Jane repeated solemnly, reaching out to take Elizabeth’s hand.
Elizabeth unfolded herself to take it, and nodded. “Love. Nothing else will do.”
Her mother did not see them off, for they were leaving very early. She had said her farewells the night before, mostly to Jane. To Elizabeth, she had issued a warning.
“I have no doubt Jane will make an excellent match, but you cannot count on the same, Elizabeth. Do not waste your funds on frivolities, for you and your younger sisters shall have need of them.”
“Farewell, Mamma.” The feeling of injustice was wrapped up tightly and pushed down deep inside with all the others.
Jane had scolded Mamma, but their mother never listened.
The horses snorted, and one struck at the ground with his hoof, reminding Elizabeth that it was the morning and they were about to depart.
“Farewell, girls,” Papa said from behind them, and they turned. There was a smile on his face, though Elizabeth often had a difficult time discerning whether his smile meant he was pleased with her or would say something hurtful that he believed amusing. He handed Jane a letter. “Lord Carlisle will be better able to assess your potential suitors than I. Give him this, and he shall be at liberty to marry you both off.”
Jane stared at the letter.
“Enjoy your husband-hunting. Send word if you need beaters to assist you.”
Elizabeth flinched at the insult, then chastised herself for doing so. Papa was referring to the men who beat the bushes so that birds would fly into the path of a hunter’s gun. Her father was still bitter that the solicitor had never allowed him to touch her fortune, not even the interest. He was angry that she had been allowed to share the money with Jane, but not with him. Elizabeth knew she ought not expect him to be happy when they were to have a season in London using that money.
That he most likely intended to put the funds to good use—to help the other girls or to make repairs to the estate—was of little consequence. In no time, Mamma would have harangued him into spending it all on fine dresses and refurbishing Longbourn, beginning with the public rooms but no doubt moving swiftly to her private chambers. Good intentions were not enough.
“You should be pleased, Papa,” Jane was saying. “This is why you sent us off to Mrs. Buxton’s school in the first place, is it not?”
To that her father had no reply.
“Your plan was a success,” Elizabeth added, unable to keep the words from tumbling out now that they were leaving at long last. She turned to look him straight in the eye. “And all it took was a fire.”
Jane waited silently for Elizabeth to enter the coach. Then she was also inside, and their father was calling for the coachman to drive.
The sudden movement threw them back against the squabs, but they righted themselves quickly and glanced at one another.
Jane stretched her hands out before her. “I am shaking.”
“You were brilliant.”
“So were you.” They rode in silence until they turned onto the road that would take them through Meryton. “Lizzy,” Jane said softly, “shall we ever return to Longbourn?”
