Page 22 of Her Whole Heart
“Four years precisely on the sixteenth, no?”
“Yes.”
“I recall, you see, because Milton wrote me a letter about it at the same time he related that there had been a fire at Hen’s school.”
“I was here in town working on something for my father when I received an urgent summons from the earl to ride to Middlesex and see to her care until he could reach her.” Darcy stared blankly forward. “Your father and brother arrived a day later, and the morning after that, an express was forwarded to me from London about my father’s accident.”
Fitz’s expression darkened. “I am sorry, Darcy. I did not know. It must have felt like the world was falling down around you.”
It had. Darcy simply nodded. “There is no need to apologise, Fitz. My father was dead before they could carry him to the house—there was nothing I could do. It was only that there were so many decisions to be made and all at once. Your father could not assist because he was caring for your sister, and Old Mr. Wickham was invaluable, but was himself felled by an apoplexy not six months later.”
“You have been in constant motion ever since,” Fitz said, as though Darcy was unaware. “Until now.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning you are in foul mood because for the first time since your father’s death, you have a moment to contemplate what his absence has meant for you.” Fitz cocked his head to one side. “Are you angry with him?”
“He perished in an accident, Fitz. It was not his fault.”
“That was not what I asked.”
“It would make no sense to be angry with him.”
Fitz threw up his hands. “Darcy, I am still angry with my mother for dying. Does that make sense?” His gaze lingered on Darcy for an uncomfortably long time. “I think youareangry. Your father died without warning, leaving you a sister to raise and an estate in chaos.”
“He required you to share Georgiana’s guardianship with me.”
“And I was not here to help. You have a right to be angry about that as well.” Fitz shook his head. “He did not mean to deprive you of what ought to have been a carefree time in your life. He did not mean to leave you with so many things undone. But it does not change the fact that he did both.”
“It was four years ago, Fitz,” Darcy repeated softly. “I have moved past it.”
“I do not think you have. You are only now taking a breath long enough to let it sink in, all the time you have lost. Time for yourself. Time with him.” He nodded to himself, satisfied. “It is all right to be angry, you know. But it is not right to take out that anger on Miss Elizabeth.”
Was that what he was doing?
“Promise me you will think on it.”
Darcy shrugged. “I will think on it.”
Fitz stood. “Then I shall leave you to it.”
Chapter Eight
Lady Carlisle stifled a yawn behind her fan, but Elizabeth could not be sorry for requiring her escort.
“I cannot believe we are finally here,” Elizabeth whispered to Jane.
Jane smiled. “You know I have been anticipating this lecture as much as you.”
Their Uncle Gardiner had secured four seats for a popular lecture about the arc lamp, which produced light yet required no flame. Unfortunately, they had not been able to convince Amelia to accompany them, but Lady Carlisle had agreed to chaperone.
She was speaking with a friend of hers even now. “Lady Henrietta is a foolish child if she believes she can spread lies about the Miss Bennets,” the countess was saying. She seemed amused rather than irritated. “Please tell Mrs. Forth that I can guarantee that none of that is true. I am in a position to know, and Lady Henrietta is not. Furthermore, Lady Henrietta and Lady Penelope are very welcome to speak with me if they believe their tittle-tattle has any truth whatsoever.”
The countess was certain that Lady Penelope had been encouraging Lady Henrietta to spread rumours, and Elizabeth believed she might beright. Mr. Darcy’s cousin had evidently been telling everyone in her circle that she and Jane were poor and grasping. She had said that they had nothing when they were at school together and insinuated that they had no fortunes at all even now. Elizabeth and Jane were being painted as the worst of pretenders. However, this was a miscalculation on Lady Henrietta’s part, for Lady Carlisle had taken this as a direct affront. The gossip implied, after all, that she and the earl had been foolish enough to be taken in by two conniving young women.
Elizabeth believed the gossip was why Lady Carlisle had agreed to chaperone them at the lecture, for she had little interest in it herself. It would not have mattered, for Elizabeth would not have missed this lecture. The arc lamp was two years old now, but it was the first time she would be able to see one.
One day, Elizabeth was sure, lamps such as these would eliminate the need for candles, or even the gas lamps that were first installed in Pall Mall and were beginning to appear in some homes of the wealthy. The electric current would be contained by a glass shield, and there would be no threat of fire.
