Page 102 of Her Whole Heart
He pressed her hand in encouragement, nodded, or shook his head. But mostly, he just listened as it all spilled from her lips.
She related how she had wished to refuse the reward money offered by the grateful parents who had collected it, for she had not saved theirdaughters to be paid. But her duty to her family had not allowed her to salvage even this bit of her pride.
At this, Mr. Darcy grunted, and she glanced up. His expression was as stony as the marble statues out in the hall, but he moved to sit next to her on the settee and lifted her hand to his lips for a kiss.
There was not much left to tell now, only the vow she and Jane had made to find love, her concerns about the Carlisles before she knew them, and then meeting him. “You know the rest as well as I,” she said at last, wearied with the retelling.
The clock on the mantle struck the time and startled her into the present. They had been alone in the parlour for nearly three hours.
She felt better. “Jane said I would feel safe with you,” she said, her eyelids fluttering closed.
She leaned against his shoulder, and Mr. Darcy gathered her gently into his arms, holding her close. She ought to weep, but she had no tears left. She was entirely spent. But in the safety of Mr. Darcy’s warm embrace, she felt the first stirrings of hope. Perhaps she had not chased him off with her long silence, perhaps there was trust and safety and love still there for the taking.
“I love you,” she said.
“But do you—can you—trust me again?” Mr. Darcy inquired.
It soothed her that he knew trust was so important to her. She had never been able to trust her parents to have her best interests at heart. Her younger sisters had not wanted to be close with her because to do so would invite censure. She had trusted Jane and no one else for so long.
But she did trust Amelia and the Carlisles, despite the earl’s unfortunate, creative punishment for Mr. Darcy. He had only thought he was doing the best he could for her. And she had friends she trusted. Cordelia, Diana, Georgiana. Mr. Darcy had explained how it had happened—bothhe and the earl must have thought the other had explained it all to her. And as she had said earlier, it did not feel so large a breach once she knew they had not meant to humiliate her. It had been everythingelseshe was feeling that had caused her to fall silent. And she could not have told Mr. Darcy everything she had held back for so long if she did not trust him.
“Yes,” she said, without moving her head from his shoulder. “Only . . . please be gentle with me. Soon I shall be my old self again, but at the moment . . .”
Mr. Darcy bent so far over her hand that he touched his forehead to it. “I want nothing more than for you to be happy, and I shall wait patiently for as long as you require to heal.”
“I am so tired of being brave,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.
His lips were inches from her own. “Then allow me to be brave for you, until you are strong again.”
Elizabeth’s eyelids were growing heavy. “Would you be willing to resume your calls? Your presence—just you being here—it brings me such comfort. Itmakesme stronger.”
He straightened. His words came with some effort. “I am not ashamed to admit that your presence does the same for me. I do not believe we are made to carry our burdens alone. The difficulty is in finding the right person to share the load. I know that I have found her. Nothing would make me happier than to resume my calls.”
He pressed his lips to the top of her head and though it was forward, she could not deny it was also very comforting. “We shall be at church tomorrow,” she said. “But shall we see you on Monday?”
“Monday,” Mr. Darcy said. “I will be here.”
“Lizzy?” Jane called through the almost closed door. Elizabeth had not realised that it was still slightly open and thought that, like Jane, Mr. Darcy truly was the soul of propriety.
“Yes, Jane, you may enter,” she called, exhausted but no longer distressed.
“I was just preparing to return home,” Mr. Darcy said, gently removing his arm from around her shoulders and standing. “Miss Elizabeth has invited me to call on Monday.”
Jane smiled brightly. “We shall look forward to seeing you then, sir. I thank you for coming.”
Mr. Darcy pressed his lips to Elizabeth’s hand. The kiss was loving, even reverent. “Until Monday, Miss Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth smiled up at him. “Until then, Mr. Darcy.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
After Fitz had escorted Georgiana home from services, Darcy remained in the church. He had told his cousin he wished to speak with the vicar, and he had done so, but in truth, he needed to speak with the vicar’s superior. Had he been at Pemberley, he would have sought out the estate’s chapel, but he was not in the country. Once all the parishioners and their spiritual leader had gone home for their midday meal, Darcy moved to the front pew and knelt in quiet contemplation.
He could feel the warmth of the sun streaming through the stained glass, bathing him and the floor around him in a kaleidoscope of colours. He clasped his hands together, his voice low and earnest as he spoke. “Heavenly Father, you have seen fit to gift me with the love of Miss Elizabeth Bennet, and I am humbled and grateful.”
Darcy paused, soaking up the quiet, feeling his soul open like evening primrose. He closed his eyes and tightened the grip of his hands. “Please, grant me the understanding she needs, help me to support and love her through every trial and every joy. Help me to be patient and kind, to listen with an open mind and an open heart, to put her needs above my own.And Lord, please—help me to be a man she can trust without reserve, for she has been failed so many times before.”
His voice grew stronger, though not any louder. God did not require that he shout. “Give me the strength to be her rock, her foundation, her partner in all things. Guide me as I strive to build a life with her, a family with her. Above all, help me be the man she deserves throughout our long lives together.”
