Page 100 of Her Whole Heart
Darcy’s heart leapt at the prospect of seeing Elizabeth again, even if she was not ready to reconcile. At least he could reassure her of his love and that if she wished it, he would be waiting when she was ready. She could speak to him if she wished, lambaste him if she had nothing else to say. And if she rejected him—it would destroy him, but at least he would know. He rose to his feet again, determination giving him life.
“Let me fetch my coat.”
“Good man,” Lord Carlisle said, relieved. “I was concerned you would be more difficult to persuade.”
His stomach roiled as he spoke, but he meant every word. “Even if Miss Elizabeth does not want me anymore, I will always wish to be of aid to her in any way possible.”
Lord Carlisle’s look was an approving one, but Darcy could not care less. There was only one person whose approval he craved now, and he was on his way to see her.
Elizabeth sat in the quiet family parlour at the back of the house, her work in her lap and her eyes fixed on the intricate pattern of the rug beneath her feet. The weight of the past week pressed heavily upon her shoulders. She ought to feel free now that Lady Henrietta had announced to the ton that she was innocent of any wrongdoing and had in fact thanked her for saving her during the fire. But instead, every slight, every injustice, every emotion that she had carefully pushed down inside her since her time at school now demanded to be taken out and examined. It made her feel ill, it kept her from sleeping well, and yet she seemed to be caught in a cycle she could not escape.
The only thing that forced its way through the fog of her intense fatigue was a question. What was she to do about Mr. Darcy?
She ought to speak to him, had intended to speak to him, but somehow, his transgression had wrapped itself up in everything else she was feeling, making it impossible for her to take it out and look at it on its own.
She was so tired.
Jane entered the room, moving silently as she had all week, and sat next to her. She took Elizabeth’s hand and said, “Lizzy, you have a visitor.”
“I cannot see anyone like this, Jane,” she protested weakly.
“I must insist,” her sister replied.
Elizabeth pulled back to really look at Jane, whose expression was resolute. “You insist?”
“Yes.” Jane pulled both of Elizabeth’s hands to her own chest and said, “I am worried for you. Please, do this for me if not yourself.”
“It is not a doctor, is it? I refuse to take laudanum.”
“No, it is not a doctor. It is better. I think you need to feel safe before you can sleep.”
Elizabethoughtto feel safe, she knew that, yet she did not. “And this visitor will make me feel safe again?”
“Yes,” Jane said firmly. “I believe so.”
Elizabeth shrugged carelessly. “Very well.” She turned her face towards the window but felt the air change when he came in the room. She knew who it was before he spoke.
“Mr. Darcy,” she said without turning, her voice barely rising above a whisper. “Thank you for coming.” When she did face him and saw his handsome countenance, it was tired, drawn, anxious. She hated that for him.
Despite his looks, he strode into the room, as powerful as he had ever been. “Lord Carlisle invited me. I must say, I am grateful that you are not vexed with me for accepting.”
She had not expected that. “He invited you?”
“Came to collect me, more like. Are you unhappy that I am here?”
She considered the question and shook her head. “I should have sent for you sooner.”
“I am afraid to inquire what you might have said if you had.”
Elizabeth glanced up at him. “To be honest, I do not know. But leaving you without any word at all was not fair. I promise I did not intend to do it. I simply . . .” She threw up her hands in defeat.
He drew a chair up to face her and sat. “You are troubled.”
She laughed bitterly. “An understatement, sir.”
“Entirely normal, given all that has happened.”
“What is there that is normal in this situation?”
