Page 271 of Coach
Mike snorted into his drink.
I clamped my lips shut and glared.
Sisi relented, waving a hand toward me. “Proceed. We will return to the ravishment later.”
I blew out a breath. There was no avoiding this, any of it. I needed to place my head on the block and let the axman do his thing . . . orherthing, in this case.
“After we did it twice, I slept in his arms. This morning, we woke up, and he, well, he”—I fumbled for words—“looks at me—like,reallylooks at me, with that intense stare of his—and says all sorts of nice things about him thinking about me all the time and wanting do more sex in more ways and, shit . . . Then he adds, ‘Will you date me?’”
I let the words hang for a second, heart kicking a little even in retelling it.
“Whoa. That’s . . . direct.” Mike’s eyebrows shot up. “It sounded more like a proposal than—”
“Exactly!” I said a little too loudly. Lowering my voice and leaning forward, I added, “Then he asked me to pass the syrup as though he hadn’t just dropped a date-bomb at the table. It was so bizarre.”
Sisi nodded. “At what point did he offer you a handcrafted ring of oak and maple to seal the deal?”
“And was it a cock ring?” Mike chirped. “Everyman needs a fashionable cock ring for his engagement. It’s gay law.”
The waitress chose that moment to appear, nearly tossing her tray as she laughed along with myformerfriends.
“Stop,” I groaned, burying my face again as they cracked up.
Mike wiped his eyes. “I mean . . . we’re happy for you. Seriously, but also—how the hell do you plan to figure out what he’s thinking? The man communicates in grunts.”
“That is my problem,” I said, voice muffled by the table. “I have no idea what happens next.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll help translate.” Sisi patted my arm. “You feed him carbs, compliment his shelves, and when in doubt—just lay back, relax your hole, and let him drill, baby, drill.”
“Sisi!”
Mike nodded. “And definitely wear fewer clothes around him. Clearly, that works.”
“Remind me again,” I said dryly, “why I hang out with you two?”
“Because you love us.” Sisi grinned. “When are you seeing him again? I mean, he proposed to date, so now you have to actually do the dating thing.”
I hesitated. Anything I said could be used against me . ..
“Tonight.”
They both jerked so hard, the table rattled.
“Tonight? You just left him after getting your ass throttled harder than a ’57 Chevy,” Sisi said.
“Can we not compare my body to a classic car, please?”
Mike tried to contain himself. “She’s not wrong. You just left his bed . . . and couch . . . and bathroom . . . and kitchen . . .”
“Mike!”
They grinned . . . and I glowered.
“Fine. We’re going to see a comedian—”
“Wait.” Mike held up a palm. “Comedian? The one you were going to takemeto see? The oneweare supposed to see tonight?”
“Yeah, um, about that . . .” My hand found my hair again. “There’s going to be three of us tonight.”
