Page 217 of Coach
“I—” Shane started, caught mid-sip.
“Did you meet in the wild?” Matty pressed, skipping past Omar’s line of questioning. “Online? At one of those sexy farmers markets?”
“We met at the Decatur Antique Fair. I told you that,” I said, a little more defensively than intended.
“Right,” Matty said, like an inspector ruling out suspects.
“God, I hope you’re sleeping with him,” Omar said with a smirk.
I glared across the table. “I swear to Beyoncé, I will knock this table over.”
“Don’t waste the food.” Elliot lifted a single chicken wing in warning, raised one brow, and added, “Besides, the vow’s worth shit if it’s not sworn on the OG.”
“Betty White?” Omar asked.
Elliot shook his head. “Madonna. Pure and simple.”
“What about Cher?” Omar’s brow furrowed.
Elliot shrugged. “She’d do. I count them in the same class.”
I leaned in and whispered to Shane, “They’re entertaining themselves. Do not engage. Trust me on this.”
“Oh, he’s engaging,” Matty said, a triumphant smile on his lips. Apparently, eavesdropping had become an Olympic sport, and Matty held the record. “Time to play ‘Get to Know Shane’ everyone!”
Omar—our quiet, shy Brit—began humming the theme song to one of those old game shows; I think it wasMatch Game.
I tried to not slink below the table.
Shane sat ramrod straight, his face impassive, his eyes barely blinking. For a moment, I thought I might need one of our resident nurses to check for a pulse.
Matty would not be deterred. “Do you like dogs?”
Shane cocked hishead. “Yes.”
“Cats?”
“Not really.”
Elliot chimed in, “Getting humped by a dog?”
Mike leaned all the way across the two of us to slap Elliot’s arm. “Not appropriate. Besides, Homer doesn’t do that anymore.”
“The hell he doesn’t,” Elliot groused. “He tried to make a whole new litter this morning.”
“Aww, you bonded,” Matty singsonged. “But tonight is about grilling Mateo’s fine slab of beef, not your dog daddy issues.”
“We are not—” I tried to say but was cut off.
“We are,” Matty declared. “Now, let me see, Shane, are you single?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t just mean not taken. Are you dating-Mateo single? Or like processing-a-divorce-from-your-emotionally-distant-ex-husband-who-stole-your-cat single?”
Shane stared a moment, then said, “Yes and no, and I’ve never owned a cat.”
“Do you wear flannel for aesthetic reasons or because you work with wood in a barn?”
