Page 63 of Coach
Matty would not be deterred. “Do you like dogs?”
Shane cocked hishead. “Yes.”
“Cats?”
“Not really.”
Elliot chimed in, “Getting humped by a dog?”
Mike leaned all the way across the two of us to slap Elliot’s arm. “Not appropriate. Besides, Homer doesn’t do that anymore.”
“The hell he doesn’t,” Elliot groused. “He tried to make a whole new litter this morning.”
“Aww, you bonded,” Matty singsonged. “But tonight is about grilling Mateo’s fine slab of beef, not your dog daddy issues.”
“We are not—” I tried to say but was cut off.
“We are,” Matty declared. “Now, let me see, Shane, are you single?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t just mean not taken. Are you dating-Mateo single? Or like processing-a-divorce-from-your-emotionally-distant-ex-husband-who-stole-your-cat single?”
Shane stared a moment, then said, “Yes and no, and I’ve never owned a cat.”
“Do you wear flannel for aesthetic reasons or because you work with wood in a barn?”
“He does work with wood,” I muttered, cheeks burning.
“HE’S GAY. OF COURSE HE DOES,” Matty shouted, his eyes gleaming. “God, you’remanifesting your own erotic novella.”
Shane blinked. “I just make furniture.”
Matty fanned himself with a napkin. “With those forearms? That’s obscene. You should be arrested.”
“He could come work some wood at our place,” Omar offered.
“Absolutely not!” I snapped, far too forcefully.
Matty, Omar, and Elliot grinned in unison. Their shared glory rippled through me, and I knew beyond all doubt I’d just made the night a hell of a lot longer.
Shane, undaunted, said, “I have room for more clients. Sure.”
Matty’s smile fell, and his mouth quirked.
Omar’s caterpillar returned.
Elliot’s mouth fell open.
“He means for actual woodwork,” I said, desperate to get their minds out of the gutter. “None of you get to see his mighty oak.”
Oh, shit. I’d done it.
“Mighty oak?” Matty squealed. “So, you have seen it. Is it as big as he is? I bet it’s bigger than those meaty forearms. Did you need poppers just to get it in or—”
“Jesus, take the wheel,” I groaned.
Shane, still showing zero reaction to anything, said, “It is mighty, though not an oak. No, it’s smaller than my forearm, but poppers are alwayswelcome. And no, Mateo hasn’t seen it. This is only our second date, and he’s a gentleman.”
