Page 63 of Hansel and Gerhardt
“You’re not. And I love you, Gerhardt. I never thought I’d miss your fire so much as I do right now. Your anger. Your passion. I want you to be happy, I do, but never at the cost of your soul. Your precious soul. It’s worth fighting for. It’s worth starving for. I would do it all over again, and a thousand days again to save you. I don’t know what’s going to happen now. I don’t know. But remember me. Please remember me. Remember this one true thing. Remember that I loved you.”
‘Remember that I loved you.’
‘Remember that I loved you.’
The words swam in Gerhardt’s head, around and around, dizzying, nauseating.
‘Remember that I loved you.’
‘Remember that I loved you.’
Hansel was so sad. He was so earnest. He was so true.
Gerhardt’s fingertips dug into the skin of his shoulders. Gerhardt met his gaze, real and loving.
Gerhardt said, “Would it make you feel better to share my chocolate?”
Herr Candy Stokes the Flames
The lollipops had long since faded back to forest, the sun had lowered below the treeline, and Hansel’s hands were red and blistered from digging. He knew Herr Candy had seen his attempted escape. He knew, deep down, what was coming. Digging, digging, to exhaustion, was all the time he could buy them, in the hopes of… what?
Gerhardt wasn’t about to wake up, not ever again. It felt like a skeleton fist on his heart to know that he’d only ever known him for a few days. Just those two dangerous, terrifying days spent so close to death. Yet so free.
Hansel hoped he was happy. That he would never see what was coming for him, or not understand when it happened. That he was all gone now. That he wouldn’t miss Hansel when he was dead.
But even as he dug his own grave at Hansel’s side, Gerhardt’s thoughts and words clearly dwelt almost invariably on Hansel. No, he didn’t talk of escape anymore. But he talked of Hansel’s eyes, likening them to those bizarre oceans he imagined. Hetalked of Hansel’s kindness, how he wanted to wrap himself in it. He talked of their future together, well-fed in a beautiful candy house in the woods. He even held his hand a few times, trying to make him happy.
Hansel wanted to pretend for him. Whatever magic had taken Gerhardt’s mind, he still felt Hansel’s sadness. Only it was, ‘Just eat and Herr Candy will make it all better’. So what could Hansel do but smile and nod? Why hurt him now?
It was mid-afternoon on that cloudy and darkening autumn day when the crisp word cut through the air like a knife. “Lunch!”
The word came with the very last drop of the very last shovelful of soil.
This was it.
Eat or die.
Gerhardt clapped him on the shoulder, then ran towards the house, eyes glazed in excitement, no doubt imagining what he might find on the table that day.
But Hansel’s steps were slow and heavy.
To eat or not to eat?
If he did, it was all over. For both of them. He would be trapped, just like Gerhardt was.
If he did not? What chance did he have, anyway?
Herr Candy could turn him into candy, any part of him, as soon as look at him. He could change form into whatever that thing he saw in the hallway the night before was. He could transform any weapon into useless wafer.
He could even make Gerhardt turn on him. He’d seen it.
But if he ate…
If only Hansel understood what he wanted.
He hated the way Herr Candy looked at Gerhardt. What would he do to him if Hansel wasn’t there to at least try to protect him?
And then it struck Hansel that Herr Candy did still seem wary of their bond. He’d let them outside together, let them talk, so maybe he wasn’t that concerned… But there seemed a sort of uncertainty, even as he stood by the door and waited for Hansel to follow Gerhardt in, that wicked grin plastered across his hateful face.
