“No, I understand?—”
“I don’t think you do?—”
“I do. It’s not me that you…” Joe raised a hand to his temple, pushing it hard against his head to still it now he realised it was shaking. “I got it wrong.”
“Did that kiss feel like you got it wrong?”
Disarming words. Joe felt exactly like a piece of meat being forced through a grinder. He felt pink, and limp, and flayed.Exposed and squeezed. He hated that Percy had said it. What was he supposed to do with it?
“Answer me.” Percy’s hard gaze stayed glued to his wilting person.
There was no option but to speak or flee. So Joe tried horrible, brutal, vulnerable honesty instead of flippant lies. “It felt right to me. I liked it and I would like you to kiss me again.”
“But not as your boyfriend?”
“No.” The sound was so tiny he wondered if Percy had heard it. Joe’s eyes were averted, watching the floor, and he couldn’t see any effect it might have had, so he spoke a current of nervous, babbled words. “If you don’t want a boyfriend, that’s fine, because I don’t want a boyfriend. I’m a priest and I can’t have one. Obviously. I’m not in the market. Or—oronthe market, or whatever people?—”
Joe quieted with the press of two elegant hands sliding over his hips. The intoxicating heat of Percy’s body warmed him and set his heart racing. Percy’s hand on his chin brought a tremble to his lips. And Joe was kissed. Not like the frantic kisses in the doorway, not like the playful kisses that followed. He was kissed gently, sweetly, he would almost have said, lovingly. His heart turned to paper, and Percy’s too-loving kiss tore it to shreds. That kiss was what he came for. That kiss was everything he wanted in the world. It was a lifetime of loneliness, both assuaged and multiplied ad infinitum in the bliss of Percy’s embrace.
He didn’t want to open his eyes, not ever again, but when it was over, he had to. And he did. And Percy had the most gorgeous smile. Like nothing Joe had ever seen in him before. And Percy said, “I adore you. I’ve adored you since the day we met. I won’t be your boyfriend, but if you’re okay with that, I’ll be whatever else you need me to be.”
And with those words, Joe’s torn and frayed paper heart burst full and strong back to life.
CHAPTER FOUR
DANGEROUS GROUND
Percy did want a boyfriend. He’d decided then and there that he very much wanted a boyfriend, and that he wanted it to be Joe and only Joe. But it wasn’t going to be Joe, for a multitude of reasons.
Percy was a mess and no doubt about it. He’d done terrible things, the memories of which ripped him from sleep every single night. In his defence, a demon had made him do them, back when he got possessed that one time.
And as though that trauma simmering beneath the surface wasn’t enough, he also happened to be a part-time, high-class criminal of every variety, and that was something he kept to himself. He made a lot of money doing it, and despite the danger, or perhaps because of it, it tended to be very good fun. It wasn’t something he was about to get a boyfriend involved in. Especially not a priest. Especially not Joe.
These matters, having been quickly gone over and reestablished in Percy’s mind, provided a rigid and unbreakable resolution that there was no way in hell he was dragging Joe any deeper into his wreck of a life.
But he wanted him.
And he was incredibly selfish at times, so he did his utmost to have his cake and eat it. “We should lay some ground rules. Before we go ahead.”
Joe assented with a nod, and with so much trust in his gorgeous eyes, that Percy became twice as determined to make sure those steadfast rules would carry them both through the untried waters unscathed.
“Am I correct that you want me to show you what you’re missing? So then, down the track, if you want, you can make an informed choice about the direction you want your life to take?”
He’d put it as elegantly as he could, and he was rewarded with a relieved smile from Joe. “That’s right. I didn’t know how to explain it exactly…”
“Or in other words, you want me to be your fuckboy?” Joe blushed bright red to the tips of his hair and Percy held back on the urge to kiss him. “Is that what you want?”
Joe’s tongue on his dry lips tried Percy’s self restraint. “I don’t know if I’d have put it exactly like that…”
“Hmmm…” Percy’s hand slid up the wall above Joe’s shoulder, and he breathed into Joe’s ear, “Have you thought about fucking me, though?”
“Yes,” Joe just about whimpered.
The answer was so fast Percy almost wilted as badly as Joe had. He virtually begged, “Then you should think of my body as yours for at least the next few weeks.”
Joe looked up in alarm. “Weeks?”
“Well, we have a lot of ground to cover, so let’s not set it in stone. Now, given you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Joe’s legs almost gave way as Percy paused to study him, but they held, somehow, “I’m willing to try anything you want.”
