Page 209 of Upon Buried Embers
“I can’t be called Elf forever. I don’twantto be Elf forever. I want to be…me.” I sigh. “I asked Rohan to help, but he said it should come from me. ThatIshould make the choice.”
Growls.
“I know it’s me who needs to make this decision, but who am I?”
I wipe my forehead and sit back, looking at the circle with a nod of satisfaction.
“There, all sorted. Sparks?” I call, standing. When he doesn’t come, I look around. “Where is he?”
Alter, Doren, and Agnor are next to me. But apart from Drogonah and Escor, no others are here.
I look at Drogonah and Sparks isn’t annoying him, so where?
I turn to Escor and splutter out a laugh. He’s sitting on his hind legs, bucket in his mouth, and resting inside of it is Sparks, his front claws hanging over the lip of it.
“What are you doing?” I chuckle, going over to them and stroking Escor before patting Sparks in the bucket. “Wow, so warm.”
The stones in there are like their own little bed of warmth, and Sparks lays on his back, stone in his front paws, eyes closing.
“Okay, we’ll just rest for a little bit.”
Escor places the bucket in the circle, Drogonah curling his tail around it, managing not to disturb the stones I worked hard to place.
He sleeps so much, but Rohan says it’s natural for how young he is.
“He’ll be okay, won’t he?” I ask Drogonah, and he rumbles his reply. “I just worry. Rohan said he hasn’t had one as young as Sparks here before, and we have to take him to The Games… Maybe we should have left him in The Glade.” Drogonah growls, tightening his tail around the bucket as tiny snores come from within. “I know he’ll be protected.” I sit up straighter. “You’re right. He’ll be safe with us.”
Drogonah and Escor rumble in agreement.
I take a seat in front of Drogonah’s bed as Escor lays down next to me.
“Selia? Alison? Dormi?” I lay back, arms out wide. “Why is this so hard,” I whine.
Rumble.
I look at Escor, tail swishing lazily back and forth.
“Who am I?” I ask him, looking up at the crystals glowing in the opening, shining down on me. “Who do I want to be? WhocanI be?”
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath and just… feel.
I’m warm.
Surrounded by fierce protectors.
I’m in Rohan’s clan. My cheeks heat. Rohan’s bed.
I collect roses every morning.
I speak with my friends, Beau and Tofa.
I give apples to the horses.
I let Melle always touch my ears to make her smile.
I train with Calian.
The collar is off my throat.
